


The Mississippi

by livehead16



Category: NSYNC
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livehead16/pseuds/livehead16
Summary: Justin's twenty-first birthday, a one-night stand, and two lives changed forever.
Relationships: Justin Timberlake/Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written and published in May 2001. In hindsight, the premise (Justin losing his virginity on his 21st birthday) is, um, flawed. But hopefully the story is still entertaining. :)

The music and the heat engulfed her like a wall of flames. The club was packed, and bodies were pressed tightly together on the dance floor. A peculiar perfume wafted through the air. It smelled alternately of alcohol, sweat, smoke, and cologne… eau de club. As she shimmied to the insistent beat, Natalie was surprised to find she was having a good time. This wasn’t usually her scene, especially when it was this crowded. But, tonight, she was floating on a high, born more of the heat and the atmosphere than the two drinks she had consumed.

A group of girls she worked with had talked her into coming out tonight. They were celebrating the promotion of one of the women, and Natalie couldn’t turn them down. A key part of their persuasive argument was that it was Industry Night at this particular club. That accounted for the crowd, but it also meant cheaper drinks and fewer tourists. Once you’d lived in Las Vegas for a while, you learned to seek out your fellow locals.

Natalie could feel her legs beginning to tire, and she was thirsty for another drink. Just as she was about to head for their table, the ocean of dancers shifted yet again, and a different man was in front of her. She’d danced briefly with at least five or ten guys tonight, and she almost walked away. But something in the lean line of his body caught her eye, and she lifted her head to get a better look at him.

He wasn’t looking at her, which proved to be lucky for Natalie. He missed seeing her eyes widen and her jaw drop. But, then, she supposed that probably didn’t faze him anymore. When you’re Justin Timberlake, reactions like that are all in a day’s work.

She managed to regain her composure pretty quickly. He made eye contact with her, then, and she smiled at him. He returned the gesture, and she swore his smile lit the entire room. And then, it was gone, and he was staring down at his feet again. Her sore legs were forgotten as she watched him dance. He was actually much more low-key than she would have expected. Not that there was much room for fancy moves on this crowded floor, but he seemed shy, almost timid in his movements. Yet every now and then she saw a flash of the fluidity and grace that marked his dancing when he was onstage.

Natalie expected him to be near her only briefly and then to be washed away with the next tide of people. But he held his ground, and by the third song they were dancing with each other instead of just in front of each other. Their bodies made fleeting contact in a variety of places… an elbow here, a hip there. Each touch was followed by a smile and a few seconds of eye contact before they lost themselves in the beat again. Conversation was utterly impossible in the face of the pulsating music that was drenching them.

When the song changed again, Justin stopped abruptly. Smiling at her, he wordlessly extended his hand. Natalie’s heart was racing as she slipped her own hand into his and followed him through the crowd. He led her to a darker and somewhat quieter hallway. Turning to face her, he finally spoke. "Hi. I’m Justin."

She couldn’t help but laugh as she replied, "I’m Natalie."

"Nice to finally meet you, officially," he said, still smiling at her. "I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty thirsty. You ready to take a breather and have a drink?"

"Sure," she answered.

"Cool," he replied, turning toward a door that was almost hidden in a corner. All she could think was that he’d better stop smiling at her, because it was making her go weak in the knees.

They entered into an even darker room where Natalie could barely make out some couches and a small bar. As they crossed to the bar, she realized Justin’s bandmates were scattered around, along with a handful of other people. She saw a few other faces she recognized as well. There was music playing back here, too, but it was much quieter. Under its tones, she could still hear the bassline from the main dance floor.

She ordered a cosmopolitan at the bar, and Justin led her to a seat on one of the couches. They passed a low table which held the remnants of a cake, and she suddenly remembered today was Justin’s birthday. He was finally 21.

"Happy birthday," she said, raising her glass to him as she settled into the plush velvet of the couch.

He clinked his glass against hers, but looked at her quizzically. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

Natalie chuckled. "It says so on the cake," she said, pointing in that direction.

"Oh, right," he said, relaxing visibly.

She took a long drink from her glass as she surveyed the room. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and she could now see the small groups of people conversing. "I didn’t even know this place had a VIP room," she commented.

"Well, I don’t know how much use it gets. We found this place by accident one time and now we come here a lot when we’re in town. It’s kinda nice, because it’s off the Strip and people don’t bother us much here."

"Yeah," she nodded sympathetically. "Not very many tourists here."

"Right. What about you? You a local?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. Been living here for four years now."

"That’s cool. I love this town. You work on the Strip?"

"Yeah. New York New York. But I work back-of-the-house, so it’s a lot calmer than you’d imagine."

Justin chuckled, and lifted his glass toward his mouth. Just then, it was almost knocked out of his hand by a flying projectile that she belatedly recognized as Chris.

"How ya doin’, birthday boy?" Chris yelled. "Ya drunk yet?"

"Get off me," Justin responded, but he was laughing. "No, not yet."

"Well, why the hell not?" Chris asked. He was about to say something else when he spotted Natalie. "Hi there. Who are you?"

Natalie started to answer, but Justin interceded. "This is Natalie. Natalie, this is Chris. He’s nuts. Just ignore him."

Natalie put out her hand. "It’s nice to – "

Chris grabbed her hand, but verbally cut her off. "Ya gotta help me out, here, Natalie. I need your help."

She giggled. "With what, Chris?"

Suddenly he acted conspiratorial, although clearly Justin could hear every word he said. "You see, my little brother here, my _baby_ brother, is finally turning 21. Now, he never, ever gets drunk. I think tonight’s the night we should change that. So you gotta help me out here. Use your feminine wiles, spike his Coke, whatever. But help me get him drunk."

Natalie was laughing hard by the time Justin finally stopped Chris. "OK, OK, that’s enough. Leave this poor girl out of your nefarious plans."

"Fine," Chris said, pretending to pout. "But don’t you ever tell anybody I wasn’t a good big brother." He continued to pout for a second before the gleam returned to his eye. "OK, I’m going back to my argument with Howie. Catch y’all later."

"Whew," Natalie sighed, "How much has he had to drink?"

Justin laughed, a low rumble that barely seemed to escape from his throat. "Probably not that much. He’s actually quieter when he’s drunk. Sometimes we spike his Gatorade on the bus… just kidding."

They sipped their drinks for a while, chatting aimlessly. She met both JC and Joey when they stopped by to talk to Justin. JC was on his way back to the hotel, having had his fill of partying for one night. Joey, meanwhile, was on to another club, with a blonde on his arm. She never got to speak to Lance, who was deep in conversation in the far corner of the room.

They polished off their drinks almost simultaneously, and she stood up, saying, "I really should get back out there. My friends will be looking for me."

Justin rose to his feet as well. "Do I get to meet them?"

Natalie was a bit taken aback. "Sure…" she stammered, "If you want to."

"Then let’s go," he said, holding the door for her so she could lead the way back to her table. As she picked her way through the crowd, Natalie wondered how her friends would react to Justin. She hoped they wouldn’t make fools of themselves.

"Hi guys," she said nonchalantly as she reached their booth.

"Where you been?" Tricia piped up, "We’ve been looking – " Tricia stopped as Justin walked up behind her, and Natalie held her breath. But all Tricia said was, "Who’s the hottie?"

Natalie looked around the table in disbelief. All of her friends were staring back at her expectantly, waiting for the answer to the question. None of them recognized him.

"I’m Justin," came from behind her. "Nice to meet you all."

A chorus of responses came back, along with several looks of approval directed Natalie’s way. Then his voice, low in her ear, so close his breath tickled her. "You see, this is why we like this place."

She turned her head, and his face was right there, so close she almost had to close her eyes to be able to stand it. She could feel five pairs of eyes burning holes in her, and she quickly stepped back. Swallowing hard, she managed to look him in the eye and say, "You ready to hit the floor again?"

"Let’s go," he said, and she swore she saw a wicked twinkle in his eye. What the hell is going on here, she wondered. She turned back and asked if anyone else wanted to dance. Carrie and Sara took her up on her offer, and the four of them headed out to the dance floor. It was getting later, and there was a little more breathing room now. They all sort of danced in a little circle until Justin excused himself to go to the restroom and the other two girls pounced on Natalie, both talking at once.

"He is so hot!"

"Girl, he is fine!"

"Where did you find him?"

"Are you going home with him?"

"Is he a local?"

"Does he have a brother?"

"Whoa, whoa!" Natalie finally said, holding up her hands. "Everybody settle down. I just met him for Chrissake." She looked at them closely, about to say, "Don’t you people watch MTV?" But then she decided she liked the fact that he was her little secret right now. She decided to leave it alone. Instead, she cocked her head to one side and said, "He is pretty hot, isn’t he?"

"Oh my goodness, yes!" Sara replied, and the three girls dissolved in laughter. And then Justin was back, and they resumed dancing. He moved dangerously close to her, locking his eyes onto hers. They danced together, moving in the same ways without exchanging a word. She followed his lead for a little while, then he followed hers. With a little more space to work with, his moves became bolder; his hips gyrated a little more. She kept up with him, and before she knew it, their bodies were pressed tightly together, grinding in perfect time to the beat that never seemed to let up.

Natalie had no idea when Sara and Carrie left the dance floor. There was no one in the room right now but she and Justin. She slid her hands along his arms, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt. His hands were planted firmly on her ass, and she couldn’t believe how much she was enjoying that. She put one hand on the back of his neck, toying with the curls that had just recently grown out. The relentless beat finally slowed a little, and she took the opportunity to study him for just a second. He was glistening with the exertion of the dance, and his breathing was a bit shallow for someone who did this every day. The yellow lights of the club were picking up the highlights in his hair, but his eyes were a much darker blue than they’d been an hour ago.

Her gaze wandered to his full, impossibly pink lips and rested there. The strobe light kicked on and sent her world into slow motion as he dipped his head and gently brushed those lips against her own. She responded without hesitation, and that was all the encouragement he needed. His long fingers wound their way through her short, dark hair, cupping the back of her head softly. Lips and tongues clashed greedily, and she grasped two fistfuls of his shirt.

Abruptly, he pulled away, leaving them both gasping for air. She watched him look around him, and she did the same. Amazingly, time had not stopped, although the club was beginning to clear out now. He pulled her close so she could hear him.

"I can’t do this here," he whispered urgently, "Someone will see me. Come back with me." He stepped back so he could look at her, and his eyes were pleading. All she could think was, how can this boy think he has to beg? But she merely smiled and nodded.

Pulling him back down to her level, she whispered, "Meet me at coat check."

She hurried back to the table, where only Tricia and Lisa remained. Grabbing her purse, she said, "Gotta go, girls," and took off, ignoring the catcalls behind her. She knew they had to be surprised. Natalie was never the one who left with a guy, if she went out at all. But this was one chance she simply could not pass up.

He was waiting for her, already wearing his favorite brown jacket. "I would have gotten yours, but I didn’t know…" His voice trailed off as she reached up and ran her finger across his lips.

"It’s OK. I’ll just be a second." She handed the attendant her ticket and a ten-dollar bill, and she had her coat in thirty seconds. Outside, they were fortunate to grab a taxi quickly. As they slid into the backseat, she asked him, "Shouldn’t you have security with you or something?"

"Nah," he shook his head, "It should be OK. No one knows we’re in town." Turning to the cabbie, he said, "The Rio, please," before sliding the window shut between them. Focusing his attention back on Natalie, he said, "Thank heavens for tinted windows," and smiled as he pulled her into his lap. They began kissing fiercely, and she sighed as his hands roamed all over her body, although they never strayed under her clothes. She could feel him beneath her, his desire growing more obvious by the minute. God help him if there were fans at the hotel.

But luckily, there were not, and he paid the cabbie and they walked briskly to the elevators, seemingly escaping notice. He held her hand as they rode to the top floor, but he didn’t say a word. Finally they got out and again strode swiftly up the hall to his room. He let her in and closed the door behind him, letting out a sigh of relief she was sure he hadn’t meant for her to hear.

Her attention turned quickly, however, to her surroundings. They were in the living room of an enormous suite, with a huge picture window opposite them. A Jacuzzi bubbled in the far corner, next to a bar, and music played softly. Justin noticed her expression and laughed, "Hey now… I don’t want you to be getting the wrong impression. I don’t always get to bunk like this on the road. This was a birthday present from the guys."

"Wow," she said, "Can you tell them my birthday is in May?"

He laughed again, his tongue peeking out between his teeth. He took her coat and walked her over to the window. "I think the view is the best part, really. In the daylight, you can really see the mountains," he said softly. She could feel her heart rate picking up again. God, he was so sexy. And the best part was that he was only half aware of it. One minute, he was all teeth and confidence, and the next, his insecurity peeked out from under his heavy brows. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asked, breaking into her reverie.

"No, thanks," she breathed, reaching up to pull him down to where she could capture the lips that seemed to be calling to her. Their frenzied kisses renewed, they somehow stumbled to the couch. Justin grabbed a remote and turned up the music.

"I take back what I said… the best thing about this suite is the sound-proofing," he said with a grin. She giggled and he took the chance to plant a kiss in the hollow at the base of her throat. Her giggle turned into a moan as his lips softly kneaded the flesh of her neck.

"Justin… how did you… that’s my favorite…"

He stopped and looked at her, his eyes dancing with delight. "Lucky guess," he shrugged. Then he returned to his ministrations. She reveled in the attention, not caring if he left a mark, not caring if he left a hundred marks. They continued making out for what seemed like an eternity. He slowly unbuttoned her shirt and removed her thin bra, turning his attention to her breasts. Natalie ran her hands endlessly through his curls, fascinated with their softness. Finally, however, she pulled his shirt over his head and drank in the sight of his beautifully sculptured torso. She moved her hands all over his smooth skin, pulling lightly on the tiny curls of his scattered chest hair.

He had her pinned in the corner of the couch now, and she was drowning in the sensation of their bare chests pressed up against one another. She wanted more; she wanted all of him. Her hands slid down his back and slipped underneath his waistband, cupping his buttocks and squeezing hard. He moaned and rocked the weight of his body against her roughly. He managed to unzip her skirt and remove it without ever lifting his own body. Now clad in just her lacy panties, she could feel the hard heat of his cock pressing against her stomach. She wanted badly to hold him, and she moved her hand inside his pants, around his hip and toward his erection.

And, suddenly, his long fingers wrapped around her wrist, and he stopped her. Startled, she pulled her head away from him, and he sat back, both of them panting heavily.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"I…" He refused to meet her eyes, and she didn’t know what to make of this development. "It’s just… I…"

She sighed. "OK, Justin, this has been in the back of my mind anyway, so I may as well just ask. Is this all a big tease?"

He looked up at her then, and his eyes were wide. "No! No, I – "

She continued without waiting for his explanation. "Because the last time I heard, you were a virgin and planning to stay that way until you got married."

"Natalie, wait," he interjected, "It’s not like that." She eyed him skeptically. Slowly, he continued, "I mean… yes, I am a virgin. But the whole marriage thing wasn’t my deal; it was hers. I just wanted the time to be right. And this… this feels good. This feels right. I want to be with you. I stopped you because… because I was afraid this would all be over in a hurry, and that’s not what I want. So… it’s not a big tease, and if I haven’t completely freaked you out yet, I’d like to start kissing you again." The pleading look was back in his eyes, and Natalie felt herself melting.

"Freaked me out? You’re telling me that not only do I get to make love to the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on, but I get to be his first?"

He dipped his head a little, and she could see a blush creeping over his ears. "Um, yeah, something like that," he murmured.

She leaned way over, till her lips were right next to his ear, and she whispered, "That is so hot… I’m even more turned on now than I was before." She saw his body relax again. Hooking her fingers in his belt loops, she drew him forward so that he was on top of her again. "C’mere," she said with a smile, "And don’t worry, I won’t let you go over the edge too soon. You just have to trust me."

They lost themselves in each other, then, until the couch seemed too small. Wandering dizzily into the bedroom, they removed what was left of their clothing and slipped between the soft sheets. She showed him what she liked, and he was a quick study. Aroused as she was, it didn’t take long for him to bring her to climax. As she recovered her senses, she opened her eyes to find him staring at her. "Wow," he whispered, "Did that feel as good as it looked?"

"Better," she replied. "And now I get to return the favor." She wrapped her fingers around him, sliding her hand up and down and occasionally using her fingernails for good measure. At the same time, her other hand was everywhere, and she kissed him feverishly. She kept this up until she knew he couldn’t take much more, knew she had him right on the brink. Then she ceased all her caresses and rolled over onto her back, inviting him in with her eyes. She wanted him to feel in control during this, his first time. There’d be plenty of time later for him to learn the joys of other positions.

He opened his mouth but seemed incapable of speech. He was breathing hard, and his whole body was trembling. His eyes never left hers as he lowered himself over her. With just a tiny bit of her guidance, he found his way and slowly slid inside her. She watched in delight as his face contorted into an expression of intense pleasure and he gasped loudly. He remained motionless for a few seconds before rocking his hips back and forth, developing a slow rhythm.

Bending his head low next to hers, he asked quietly, "Is that OK? I’m not hurting you, am I?"

She turned her head, "No, baby, not at all. That feels amazing. Why don’t you try going a little faster?" She put her hands on his ass to encourage him, and he did as he was told. His natural rhythm and grace served him well in this pursuit, as did his lithe, agile body. If she hadn’t known already, Natalie never would have guessed this was his first time. His hips were tireless, and he moved them in ways she hadn’t thought possible. Her whole body started to tingle, and she could tell that he, too, was arriving at the point where his desire would overwhelm him. She whispered, so low in his ear he could barely hear her, "Let go, Justin. Just let go."

And his pace quickened still further, and he began to make tiny noises that he seemed to have no control over. Her hips bucked against his as she came near her own breaking point once again. He moaned her name, and it was just enough to send her crashing over the edge. She cried out as her body was wracked with spasms of pleasure. It was finally all too much for him, and with a final thrust of his hips and a loud groan, he spilled into her. He rocked back and forth several times and then collapsed on top of her, shivering with aftershocks.

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, allowing him to lie there until it became uncomfortable. Then she nudged him so that he rolled onto his back. Propping herself up on one elbow, she ran her finger down his chest to his navel and smiled him. "Can you speak yet?"

It took him two tries, but he finally said, "I think so. Wow. That was fucking amazing. What the hell did I wait so long for?"

Natalie chuckled. "You wouldn’t have appreciated it as much if you hadn’t."

They lay there like that for a few minutes, Natalie idly tracing patterns on his muscular chest. Suddenly, Justin’s face lit up. "Hey, you wanna go play with the Jacuzzi?" A look of surprise crossed Natalie’s features before she could stop it. "What?" Justin asked suspiciously.

"Um… nothing…" she replied, "I was just kind of expecting you to pass out."

"No way, man, I’m wired," he said, bouncing up into a sitting position to prove his point.

Natalie had to laugh at his boundless energy. "Boy," she said, shaking her head, "Wide awake after sex. Aren’t you a keeper?" But it was the wrong thing to say, and Justin’s face fell as he was reminded of the transitory nature of this relationship. "Justin…" she said, "It’s just a figure of speech."

"I know," he said, quietly.

"Anyway," she said, to change the subject, "I will take you up on the Jacuzzi offer. But I think I better take a quick shower first. I’m a little messy over here."

He looked confused for a second, and then realization dawned. "Oh," he said with a grin, "Sorry about that."

"Nothing at all to be sorry about," she said, leaning over and kissing him. "But you don’t want it in the Jacuzzi." He cracked up, and she headed for the bathroom.

She already had the water running when he hollered in from the doorway, "Hey! Can I come, too?"

Opening the door to the enormous shower stall, she replied, "I was beginning to think you’d never ask."

After a quick and mostly perfunctory shower, Justin poured each of them a glass of wine and they headed for the Jacuzzi. Natalie couldn’t believe how comfortable she felt walking around the suite in the nude. Normally she was very self-conscious about her body. She wasn’t really overweight, but she definitely had curves not found on your average supermodel. There was something about Justin, though, that set her at ease. Given his superstar status, that seemed odd, but it spoke volumes about what kind of person he was.

They relaxed in the bubbling warmth of the tub and talked about whatever came into their heads. Music, movies, Vegas, other places they’d both been… She found she really enjoyed the conversation, and she wished they could be friends. But she knew that was unlikely, so she put it out of her head. She would have wonderful memories of tonight, and that would be enough. But there was one thing she wanted to ask him, and she finally worked up the nerve.

"Can I ask you a question?"

A little apprehensively, he answered, "OK."

"Why me? Why tonight?"

He smiled and ducked his head a little. "Um… well… It just seemed like a good time for it, I guess. With it being my birthday and all, and the guys getting me this suite."

"No peer pressure there."

He laughed. "I don’t think they meant it that way. They don’t usually give me a bad time about it." He grew serious again. "And as for you… You really got my attention at the club when we were dancing. I knew you recognized me, but you didn’t lose your mind over it. And… I don’t know… you’re a great dancer, and you’re beautiful, and I just felt a connection with you and decided to go for it."

"That’s sweet, Justin, thank you."

"You’re welcome. I thought it sounded kind of cheesy, myself."

She laughed and said, teasingly, "How do you know I won’t call People Magazine first thing in the morning?"

He looked up at her, and his eyes clouded over. "I don’t know that. I can’t ever know that. It’s a part of my life I’ve come to accept. I just have to trust people sometimes, you know? I couldn’t breathe if I didn’t. And you don’t seem like the kind of person who would do that to me."

"I’m not," she said quickly. She felt bad for even bringing up the subject. "You can trust me, Justin. I won’t say a word. To anyone."

"Thanks," he said.

"You’re welcome," she replied, bending forward to kiss him softly. She squealed when he suddenly grabbed her and dragged her into his lap again. His lips eagerly sought hers, and his hands began roaming over her body once more. Eventually, they toweled off and found their way back to the bedroom. This time, they went slowly, exploring each other’s bodies thoroughly. She marveled at the resilience of his young body, and by the time it was all over, she felt utterly sated.

They lay lazily in each other’s arms, not speaking. Natalie could tell Justin was growing sleepy, which was unsurprising given that the sun was peeking over the horizon. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep wrapped in his long arms, but she had to go work that day. Reluctantly, she sat up and turned to face him. "I have to go, Justin, or I’ll never manage to get to work today."

"You really have to?" he asked, frowning.

"I’m afraid so," she replied.

"OK," he said quietly.

She pulled the blanket up over him and began dressing quickly. She could feel his eyes following all her movements. When she was somewhat presentable again, she sat back down on the edge of the bed. He was still just watching her, with a look in his eyes that she couldn’t categorize. She reached out and ruffled his curls. "Thank you, Justin. I had a wonderful time tonight."

"Me, too," he said softly, taking her hand and kissing it. "I’ll never forget it."

"Neither will I," she replied, smiling at him.

She began to pull away from him when he suddenly said, "Wait – hang on a second." He stretched to the nightstand and grabbed the hotel stationery and a pen. Hesitating for an instant, he scribbled something down. "Drop me a line sometime," he said, handing her the paper. On it was his email address. She doubted that she’d be writing to him anytime soon, but she accepted it from him just the same.

Natalie leaned over and kissed him one last time and then rose to her feet. "OK, I’m going," she announced.

"I’ll walk you to the door," he said, making a move to crawl out from under the covers.

"No… stay in there where it’s warm. Get some sleep. I’ll make sure the door locks when I leave." He pulled the blanket back over himself but didn’t respond to her. She turned to go, but he stopped her with his voice.

"Natalie – Our plane doesn’t leave until three or four. Did you want to maybe have lunch or something?"

"I’m going to have a ton of work to do today since…" She started to make the excuse and then decided to just be truthful with him. All alone in the huge bed, he looked his age for the first time that night. "Justin…" she said gently, "Tonight was magical. I think… I think maybe we should just let it be."

"OK," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"OK," she replied, "I’ll see you later, then."

He didn’t answer her as she turned and walked into the living room. She grabbed her coat and purse and made her way to the door. Taking one last look around, she went out into the hallway. She closed the door quietly behind her, checking the knob to make sure it was locked.


	2. Chapter 2

**May**

Natalie stared at the blank computer screen in front of her, mesmerized by the blinking cursor. She had agonized over this for weeks now. Finally, she had decided on an approach, but actually putting it in motion was nerve-wracking. She turned her attention to the crumpled piece of paper next to her keyboard. The top said "RIO SUITES HOTEL" and underneath was the hastily written email address. Slowly she typed the address onto her screen.

Seven or eight drafts later, the message read:

> Justin,
> 
> I hope you remember me. We met in Las Vegas on your birthday. I need to talk to you, and I don’t want to put it in an email. I would really appreciate it if you would give me a call at 702-555-6753. It’s kind of important, so I hope I will hear from you soon.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Natalie

She read it over and over again. She had honestly never expected to make use of the address he had given her. Well, maybe if their tour came to town and she needed tickets. As far as she was concerned, their two worlds had come together by accident for one beautiful evening and then had gone back to their respective orbits. Natalie was at peace with that. But sometimes life got in the way. Sighing, she grabbed the mouse and hit "Send."

For the next three days, her heart skipped a beat every time the phone rang. Finally, on the third evening, she picked it up and heard his unmistakable voice on the other end.

"Is Natalie there?"

"This is she."

"Hey! It’s Justin. How are you?"

"I’m doing good. How are you?"

"Great. Sorry it took me a couple days to call you, but we’re in Europe and it’s been a little crazy over here."

"It’s OK. Thanks for calling me."

"Sure. Actually, I was thinking about you anyway, but I didn’t have any way to get in touch with you. I was wondering what you’ve been up to."

"Just the usual. Work, mostly."

"So… what’s up?"

Natalie took a deep breath. God, this was hard. "I have something to tell you," she began, "And I want you to hear me out, OK?"

"OK…" he replied.

She paused, making the decision one last time. She had spent countless hours analyzing her options, and she felt fairly confident this was the way to go. But she didn’t know how he would react. Closing her eyes, she just started talking, her words tumbling out in her rush to get this over with.

"Here’s the thing – I’m pregnant, and the baby is yours. I’m not telling you this because… what I mean is… I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re the father. It can be our secret. I don’t want to cause a scandal for you. And I’m not asking you for anything, Justin. I wasn’t even going to tell you, except I thought you had a right to know. So now you know."

There was stunned silence on the other end of the line.

"I know it’s an awful lot to take in," she continued, "And that’s why I didn’t want to put it in an email. So I appreciate you calling me."

"Um, yeah, of course."

"Well, I’ve got to go. I have to be up early for work tomorrow."

"Right. Um, I’ll call you when we get back to the States." His voice was shaky, and Natalie wondered whether telling him was the right move.

"You don’t have to, Justin. I’m serious about you being off the hook here."

"OK."

"OK, then. Take care."

"Yeah. You, too."

With that, she clicked her phone off and fell back onto her couch, feeling like she’d been through a vigorous workout. So that settled that. She knew she was doing the right thing. She was perfectly capable of raising this child on her own, and she wasn’t about to ruin Justin’s career because of one mistake. Besides, he was still so young, and he was on the road all the time… It was just better this way.

Sighing, she ran her hand over her newly swelling stomach. Soon her condition would be apparent to the world, which meant she needed to come up with a cover story. That made her head hurt, especially when she tried to imagine what she would tell her parents. Natalie yawned and decided it was bedtime. She could think about it all tomorrow.

**July**

Natalie leaned back on her couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table directly in front of the fan. Summers in Las Vegas were obviously always hot, but being six months pregnant took "hot" to a whole new level. Aside from the temperature, though, things were going well. Her co-workers thought the father of her baby was an old friend who lived in Seattle, and her parents thought he was a new friend who lived in Vegas. Her parents were understandably a bit confused, but everyone was very supportive. Only her two closest friends in the world knew about Justin.

Natalie felt more confident every day in her ability to make single motherhood work. Her company had good insurance, maternity leave, even an on-site daycare center. There were moments when she wished she had someone to share this experience with, but they passed quickly. She usually just called her friend Kara, who was also going to be her Lamaze coach. Kara was there when Natalie saw the first ultrasound pictures of her baby, which was the most exciting thing yet.

She hadn’t heard from Justin, and she was somewhat relieved about that. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to know his child; it was just less complicated if he didn’t get involved. She had given him a way out, and she was sure he was smart enough to take it. Even as down-to-earth as Justin had been on that blissful night in January, he still had to tend to his public image. The group was back in the U.S. now, and she had seen them on television just the other day. Normally, their interviews greatly amused her, but that day, she had had to turn it off. In any case, everything so far had gone just as she’d hoped. If she could just keep her mom from coming down from Seattle, everything should continue to run smoothly.

**August**

Natalie had just finished eating dinner, and she was still sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. The phone rang, and she grabbed it, glad that she had thought to bring it over to the table with her. It was no easy thing to jump out of her chair these days. "Hello," she said cheerfully, expecting Kara.

"Natalie?"

Her entire body froze, except for her heart, which was pounding. "Justin?" she replied. But it was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, it’s me. How are you?" His voice was low and tentative, as if he was somehow afraid of scaring her.

"I’m… I’m good, actually. Everything is going very well."

"Really? I’m really glad to hear that. I was hoping you were doing well."

"Yeah, the doctor says things couldn’t be more normal."

"Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t called you before now, but… um… I’d really rather explain it to you in person. I’d really like to see you. Is that… Would that be OK?"

Natalie hesitated, a million possibilities racing through her head. She wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with him in the flesh. Being logical and sensible over the phone was a lot easier than it would be while looking into those dark blue eyes.

"Natalie?"

"Sorry. I spaced out for a second there. I guess that would be fine." After all, what did she really have to be afraid of? "Are you here in town?"

"Actually, no, I’m in L.A. We’re finishing up our album. And the thing is, we’ve got this deadline, and I can’t get away. Could you… Would you be willing to come out here? Just, like, for the day, I mean."

"Well, it’s not that far. I guess I could drive out."

"No, I can fly you out. That’s no problem."

"I don’t think an airplane would be the most comfortable place for me right now."

"Oh. Right. Well, then, I’ll hire a car for you so you can just ride along and relax."

"I really can just – "

He interrupted her. "Natalie, will you just…" She could hear the undercurrent of frustration in his voice. "Will you just let me do this for you? Please?"

"All right. That’ll be fine," she relented. "When do you want to get together?"

"Is Saturday doable for you?"

"I don’t think I have any plans, so that’ll work."

"What if I have the car pick you up at nine a.m.? That way, you’ll be here by lunchtime."

"Sure, nine’s OK."

"OK, cool. Um… where do you live?" She gave him the address of her small house. "OK, got it. And, um… What… I can’t believe I’m even asking you this question. What’s your last name? I don’t even know it."

A laugh escaped Natalie’s lips before she could stop it. She didn’t mean to sound harsh, but it was kind of ridiculous that he didn’t know her last name. And he sounded so annoyed that he’d had to ask. It all just struck her as funny. "Moss," she said, giggling, "Natalie Moss."

"OK, Natalie Moss, what’s so funny?"

"I don’t know, you just sounded so… I don’t know. Blame it on the hormones. I blame everything on my hormones these days."

"That’s a pretty good excuse, actually. I’d use that one as much as possible during the short window of opportunity you have." This time they both laughed, and Natalie felt herself relax a little. He continued, "So I’ll see you around lunch on Saturday, then?"

"Yes. Should I bring anything in particular?"

"No, I don’t think so. Just you."

"Alrighty then. I’ll see you Saturday."

"Yeah. Take care."

They exchanged goodbyes, and as soon as Natalie disconnected from him, she dialed Kara’s number. She needed some help digesting this latest turn of events.

She stared out the window as the desert landscape rolled by. Natalie willed herself to relax, but it wasn’t easy. Her mood was obvious even to the baby, who was making like a jumping bean in her stomach. The car Justin had sent was modest but comfortable. She nestled deeper into the leather cushions and wondered why he wanted to see her. It must be important to him if he was willing to have her brought to L.A. Maybe he wanted her to sign a confidentiality statement or something. That would make sense. Sighing, she turned back to the magazine in her hand, trying hard to concentrate.

The limo pulled up in front of a fairly nondescript building, and the driver helped her out of the car. When she walked through the glass doors, she found a receptionist who was obviously on the lookout for her.

"Ms. Moss?" the woman inquired. When Natalie nodded in affirmation, the woman stood up. "If you’ll just follow me, please." She led Natalie down a short hallway to a small sitting room of sorts. "If you’ll just wait here for a minute, I’ll go find Mr. Timberlake."

"Thanks," Natalie said, trying to smile through her nerves. As the receptionist left, Natalie turned to look at the gold records hanging on the wall. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her stomach, silently begging the baby to settle down. Engrossed in reading the plaques, she never heard him come in behind her.

"Natalie?" he said, softly. She whirled around to find him standing a few feet away. "Sorry. I was trying not to scare you," he said.

"I just didn’t hear you come in," she replied. They stood there for a few awkward seconds. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. "Justin, you’re staring."

He shook his head. "I’m sorry. You’re right. I am."

She chuckled. "It’s OK. I guess I look a little different than the last time you saw me."

"Just a little," he said, smiling shyly at her. "Did you have a good trip out?"

"I did. It was a lovely ride. Beautiful scenery."

"Good. Why don’t we sit down? Can I get you anything?"

"I’m OK," she said, easing herself into an overstuffed chair. He made a move as if to help her, but stopped himself. She felt a little twinge in her heart as she noticed how confused he looked. He sat on the edge of the couch across from her, cracking his knuckles as he cleared his throat. She looked at him expectantly. Small talk wasn’t her forte, and this was, after all, his idea.

"First of all, Natalie, I really am sorry I haven’t called you. I… I was kind of overwhelmed by the news you gave me. I needed some time to sort things out in my head."

"It’s OK, Justin. I meant everything I said to you on the phone. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you."

"Well, that’s just it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I reached a conclusion. I can’t just walk away from this. Even if you don’t want me around, that child will be mine, too, and I can’t just pretend otherwise."

"It’s not that I don’t want you around. It’s just potentially so complicated."

"I know that. Believe me. And I appreciate your concern for my situation. But I want to be a part of the baby’s life. Please. This is really important to me."

She closed her eyes. This. This was what she had been afraid of. That he would choose the hard road. But the baby was his. How could she deny him, even if it might ultimately be better for everyone involved? Slowly, she opened her eyes. "OK," she said simply.

His face lit up, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. "Really? You’ll let me?"

"It’s not a question of ‘letting’ you, Justin. As you said, this is your child, too. The question is how the hell we keep things quiet."

"I don’t know. We’ll think of something. When are you due?"

"November fourth."

"Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?"

"No, I decided to be surprised. Do you want to know?"

"No," he said quickly, "I like the surprise idea. Have you picked out names?"

"Not definitely. I’m thinking ‘Benjamin’ if it’s a boy or ‘Rebecca’ if it’s a girl."

"Are you Jewish?"

"What?" Natalie responded, startled.

"Those are just such… Bible names. I thought I’d ask."

She burst out laughing. "No, I am not Jewish. I just like those names. Do you not like them?"

"They’re both very nice names. I like them fine."

"OK, then."

"Are you planning to do natural childbirth?"

She looked at him sideways. "Yes. Are you planning to ask me any more questions, or is the Spanish Inquisition over?"

He bowed his head. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "There’s just so much I want to know. I feel like I’m playing catch-up here."

She chuckled. "I guess, in a way, you are. Will you do me a favor and hand me my purse?"

"Sure," he said, getting up and walking over to her. He gave it to her, and she stopped him before he could go back to his seat.

"Wait… I want to show you something."

He perched on the arm of her chair as she dug in the bag. "You’re letting your hair grow."

"Hm?" she said, looking up briefly, "Oh, yeah. It’s one of the perks of being pregnant."

"I like it longer," he said softly, catching a strand between his thumb and forefinger. For some reason, this made her heart flutter, and she hastened to produce the envelope from her purse.

"Here," she said, offering it to him, "These were just taken last week. Take a look."

He opened the envelope, eyes filled with curiosity. "Oh, wow," he breathed, as he realized he was holding ultrasound pictures of their baby. Lifting one up to the light, he gazed at it reverently. "That’s really it, huh? That is so cool. Can I keep one of these?"

"I brought them for you. I have more at home."

"Thanks," he said, gracing her with one of his effervescent smiles, "I can’t wait to show the guys."

"Do they all know?" she asked, frowning a little.

"Yes. We’re like brothers. We don’t keep secrets; that’s how we’ve lasted so long together."

Just then, the baby kicked her especially hard, and she jumped a little. Automatically, her hand went to her stomach. She looked up to find his eyes glued to the spot where her hand was resting. She realized he was afraid to ask, so she eliminated the need. Reaching out, she lifted his hand and placed it gently on the swell of her belly. Right on cue, the baby kicked again.

"Whoa!" Justin exclaimed, "Doesn’t that hurt?"

"Sometimes," she said, laughing, "But mostly it’s pretty fascinating."

"I’ll say," he replied, bringing his other hand around to rest on her stomach as well. The baby did a few somersaults, almost as if it were showing off. Justin just stared at his hands, clearly in awe of what he was feeling beneath them. Without saying a word, he went down on his knees and gently placed his ear against her navel. Seemingly unbidden, her own hand found its way to his curls and settled there. They sat like that for several long minutes. Even the baby grew mostly still. Despite all her good intentions, she felt so content right now. This was how it was meant to be: a man and a woman sharing the mystery and the joy of creating a new life. If only it could be that simple for them.

Finally, hating to break the spell, she whispered, "I think he knows who you are. This is the quietest he’s been all day."

Justin lifted his head to look at her. "He?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled and shrugged. "Just a hunch."

He chuckled and stood up. "Well, I’m hungry. Are you interested in having lunch with us?"

"Sure," she replied, "But you’re going to have to lead the way to a bathroom first."

"I think that can be arranged."

She started to struggle out of her chair, and this time he didn’t hesitate. Wrapping one strong arm around her back, he practically lifted her to her feet.

"Thanks," she said.

"Anytime," came the reply, along with a twinkle in his eye that she had to look away from. As it was, the brief contact with his body had caused a momentary flashback to the night that started all of this. He held the door open for her, touching the small of her back with his free hand as she walked through. A chill went straight up her spine, causing her to shiver and then blush. Damn hormones.

After a quick pit stop, he led her into the control room of the studio, where JC was seated at the board. She heard Joey’s voice coming through the speakers and turned to see him standing in the booth, singing. He sounded good, even without the backing vocals, and she couldn’t resist turning to Justin. "You guys really should let him sing more often, you know."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Not you, too."

The song was fading out, and JC noticed their presence for the first time. He punched a button on the console and said, "Hey Joe – ready for a lunch break?"

"Definitely," Joey’s reply was heard through the speakers.

JC stood up and took off his headphones, offering his hand to Natalie. "Hi. Justin says we’ve met before, but I don’t remember it very well."

"It was just for a second. I’m Natalie," she said, giving his hand a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you again, Natalie."

Joey came through the door, pulling on a shirt over the tank top he was wearing. He wasted no time. "You must be Natalie," he said, sticking out his hand.

"What gave that away? It was my perfume, right?"

There was a pause before they all realized she was joking. Then they dissolved into laughter, and the tension in the room dissipated. The little group headed still further up the hall to a small room with a conference table that held several boxes of pizza. JC went to a fridge in the corner and gathered four bottles of water, then passed them out. Justin looked at Natalie and shrugged, "It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll fill you up for a while."

"It’s fine," she said.

They sat next to each other at the table, across from JC and Joey. She had to hide her smile as she watched the three men inhale their food. Naturally, she was still eating when they began chatting randomly, mostly about the new record. Somehow the conversation turned to the impending birth of the baby. Joey, of course, now considered himself an expert on the subject. She had to laugh at what a stereotypical new father he was. But the light in his eyes when he talked about his daughter was genuine, and Natalie was bowled over by his sweetness. In fact, all three of them were so normal that it was hard to believe they were the same people she’d watched on TV so many times.

Eventually they were done with lunch, and they all ambled back to the studio. Justin turned to her, saying, "I have to lay down some vocals so we can finish off this track. Do you want to stay and listen for a little while, or would you rather get going?"

"I think I’d like to stay and listen, if that’s OK."

His face brightened. "That’d be great. It shouldn’t take me too long."

She settled into the corner of the couch behind JC. Joey made small talk with her while they were getting set up, but when JC cued up the song, Joey took his cell phone and went out into the hallway. For the next hour, she listened as Justin sang his parts of the song over and over again. She couldn’t hear much difference from one version to the next, but still they kept on. It was a midtempo ballad of sorts, and Justin was using the lower end of his range. Natalie much preferred that to his falsetto vocals, and he sounded particularly sexy today. Finally, JC was satisfied, and he called Justin back into the control room.

Justin bounded through the door, "Well, C, what’d you think? I think I nailed it on the fifth one."

JC responded, "Either that or the seventh one. It sounded good, man, it really did." They exchanged what looked dangerously like a secret handshake, and Natalie began to feel like an intruder. She cleared her throat quietly, and Justin turned to her, his eyes shining brightly.

"What’d you think, Nat? Do you like the song?"

"I do, actually. When’s the album coming out?"

"Second week in November," JC replied, "Just in time for the holiday shopping season, of course."

"But we might push it back to the third week," Justin added. JC looked at him strangely but said nothing.

"Well, I’d better start heading back," she said, "I’ve still got a long ride." Again she struggled to rise, and again Justin was at her side in a flash. She bid goodbye to JC and to Joey, who was still on his phone in the hall. Then she and Justin made their way back to the room they had been in originally.

They stood facing each other, without speaking. Finally Justin asked, "May I?" and indicated her stomach.

"Of course," she replied, and he placed his hands there once again. He drew closer to her until they were in an awkward sort of embrace. She was terrified he was going to kiss her, but he just brushed his lips softly against her cheek.

"I’m so glad you came out here. Thanks again for the pictures."

"You’re welcome. I’m glad I came, too."

"Really?"

"Really."

He smiled. "Good. I’ll give you a call soon, then, OK?"

"Sounds good."

He walked her as far as the doors, but let the driver help her from there. She waved to him one last time, but she couldn’t tell if he saw her through the smoked glass. As the car threaded its way through the Los Angeles traffic, she collapsed against the seat. She was unable to make heads or tails of her emotions right now. Logically, she knew she needed to keep Justin at arm’s length, because there would be few days like this one. Yet she had what she supposed was a natural yearning to be with him, the father of her baby. He was so genuine and so sweet, and he made her feel special. When she was with him, it was so easy to forget the complications. But now that she was alone, they came flooding back into her head. She tried to sort it all out, until her brain just grew weary. As the car finally cleared the outskirts of L.A., Natalie drifted off to sleep.

Justin did call her the next day. And the day after that. She grew so accustomed to his phone calls that she worried when she didn’t hear from him for more than a day. Their conversations were initially all about baby stuff. He had apparently borrowed a baby book from Joey and Kelly, and now he had endless questions for her. Eventually, however, the discussions grew more wide-ranging. Justin was nervous about their upcoming album, and he opened his heart to her about it. They talked about her family and why she had moved to Las Vegas. He confessed that he still hadn’t told his mother about the baby, and Natalie urged him to do it soon. Some days they talked about nothing but the weather in their respective locales, but even that seemed to help their friendship grow.

One day in early October, he called her from New York City, where they were taping some talk show or other. After the usual questions about how she was feeling, he said, "Well, I finally told my mom."

"Really?" Natalie responded, "How did it go?"

"Pretty well, actually. She started to lecture me, but then she said something like, ‘Well, with all those girls throwing themselves at you, I guess I should just be happy this didn’t happen when you were 16.’"

Natalie gasped. "She didn’t!"

Justin was laughing. "Oh, yes, she did. That’s just my mom, though. She’s very straightforward. I think you would like her. Anyway, after that, she got kind of excited. So it’s cool."

"See? I told you the grandchild thing would win out in the end."

"You were right. Hey, can I ask you about something?"

"When are you _not_ asking me about something?"

"Very funny. I’m serious. This is something we haven’t talked about."

"What is it?"

"What about… I mean, what are we… Can I…"

"Justin, spit it out."

"I really want to be there when the baby’s born, and I have no idea if that’s OK with you."

"Of course it’s OK with me. I hadn’t brought it up because I didn’t know if it would be possible, and I didn’t want you to feel bad if it wasn’t."

"Oh, I’ll make it possible. I can make arrangements to be in town from the 2nd to the 8th, and we’re in L.A. before that. As long as it’s all right with you, I promise you I’ll be there."

"I don’t know if you should promise me…"

"I said I’ll be there." Now he sounded angry. For some reason, her doubt had upset him. "I do have some control over my own life, you know."

"OK, OK, I’m sorry. I believe you. Calm down." There was a moment of silence on the other end, and she was afraid she’d made him even angrier. But when he spoke again, his voice was quiet and heavy with emotion.

"I swear I’ll be there, Nat. If it was up to me, I’d be there with you right now. I already feel like I’ve missed so much. I am not going to miss the birth."

"I know you would, Justin. It’s OK, it really is. Stop feeling so guilty about it." Her voice was low as she tried to soothe him.

"OK. So I’ll make the arrangements to be there."

"That’ll be great."

"OK. Well, I’ve got to go do an interview. I’ll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye, Justin."

"Bye, Nat."

She clicked off the phone and stared at it. Every once in a while his emotions surprised her. And she didn’t know why he had taken to calling her "Nat." No one else did, not even her family. But it just sounded right coming from him, and so she let him continue to do it.

Natalie sat up with a start. Her heart was pounding and she was drenched in sweat. Nightmares had not been uncommon for her during her pregnancy, but this one had been horrific. She was trembling and thirsty, but she felt rooted to her spot in the bed. Without thinking, she reached for the phone on the nightstand and punched a number on her speed dial. It wasn’t until she heard the ring on the other end that she even looked at the clock. Shit. It was 4:30 in Chicago. She was going to wake him up, if he even had his phone on.

On the fourth ring, she heard a very sleepy "Hello?"

"Justin, I’m so sorry I woke you up."

The voice sounded much more alert now. "Nat? What’s wrong?"

"Nothing serious. It’s just… I just had a nightmare. A bad one. It scared me. I don’t know why I called you."

"It’s OK. You can call me whenever you want. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I don’t think so. Just… Will you just talk to me so I can think about something else?"

"Sure. You want to hear what that lunatic Chris said to Oprah today?"

"Of course."

So Justin began telling his story, and he made her laugh. Soon her nightmare was a distant memory, and she managed to get out of bed for a drink of water. Snuggling back under the covers, she listened as Justin moved on to a story about his two little brothers coming to visit him. That was the last thing Natalie remembered hearing before her alarm went off. The phone lay next to her in bed. Smiling, she picked it up and turned it off.

She called him from work later that day. "Sorry I fell asleep on you."

He let out a low, throaty chuckle. "Naw, it’s OK. That was the idea. I knew if I babbled long enough, you’d fall asleep."

"At the expense of your own rest."

"Your sleep is much more important than mine right now. You need to build up your energy."

"You are so sweet. I don’t tell you that enough." She swore she could hear him blushing.

"Ah… it’s nothing."

"It’s not nothing. That nightmare really spooked me. Thank you."

"You’re welcome," he said softly.

"Um… I have to get back to work. Talk to you later?"

"Count on it," he said. She smiled and hung up the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

Several weeks later, Natalie and Kara were camped out on Natalie’s couch, thoroughly engrossed in _The West Wing_. Halfway through, Natalie felt a weird twinge in her stomach. A few minutes and a commercial break later, she felt it again, a tiny bit stronger this time. By the third time, realization was beginning to dawn on her, but there was still five minutes left in the show. Finally, after seeing the previews for next week, she turned calmly to her friend.

"Hey, Kara?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I’m in labor."

Kara’s eyes bugged out. "What? Since when?"

"About a half hour ago."

"Why didn’t you say anything?"

Natalie shrugged. "The contractions aren’t intense or anything. I wanted to watch the end of the show."

Kara just looked at her and shook her head. "You’re hopeless, you know that? Here," she said, handing Natalie the phone. "Call your doctor."

Natalie did, and the doctor advised her to go ahead to the hospital. Kara got up and started to gather up some of Natalie’s things, while Natalie dialed Justin’s number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Justin."

"Hey, Nat. How are ya? Can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something."

"I don’t think so. We’re on."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I’m in labor."

"What?! You can’t be. It’s October 27th!"

"Yes, I’m aware of that, Justin, but babies don’t read calendars very well. I think this one’s ready."

"Shit. OK… Shit. All right… As soon as I find a vehicle, I’m on my way. Try to wait for me, OK?"

"I don’t have much control over that. But the contractions only started a little bit ago, so it’s going to be a while yet. There’s no need to do 200 miles an hour, you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll be there as soon as I can."

"OK. Be careful." But he was already gone.

"Ready?" Kara asked as she appeared with Natalie’s bag.

"I guess," Natalie replied, hoisting herself to her feet and heading for the door.

Natalie was propped up in the hospital bed, resting as comfortably as possible. She had requested a private room, telling her doctor there were "unusual family circumstances." The doctor hadn’t questioned her but had just made the arrangements. It was a pleasant room, and there was even music playing softly. But it was getting harder for Natalie to notice, as the contractions had grown much stronger in the past hour. Now they were actually starting to hurt.

She watched the clock tick past midnight and said something inane to Kara about how she was glad the baby’s birthday would be on the 28th and not the 27th. The 28th just sounded nicer. Kara’s response was not encouraging. "Don’t count your chickens, there, girlfriend. His birthday might be the 29th."

Natalie groaned, "Some coach you are. Get out." But she was smiling. One of the reasons she and Kara were so close was their similar sense of humor. They had been friends since college, and Kara was the one who convinced Natalie she should move to Vegas. Sometimes Natalie didn’t know what she would do without her.

Kara tried to distract her by launching a dissection of the _West Wing_ episode they had watched earlier. The tactic was only mildly successful, however. Natalie kept finding her eyes wandering toward the clock on the wall. It was after one now, and her contractions were getting closer together. She knew there was still a ways to go, but she couldn’t relax at all until Justin arrived. She knew he’d be beyond heartbroken if he didn’t get there in time.

Just then, the strongest contraction yet hit her, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She only half heard Kara’s instructions, but she tried like hell to breathe to fight off the pain. Slowly, the tension in her body subsided. She lay back against the bed, saying, "Good Lord." As she tried to breathe normally again, she slowly opened her eyes. Her pain washed away in a wave of relief as she spotted Justin standing in the doorway. He looked kind of comical, with a bandanna covering his curls, a hat over that, and a pair of large, tinted glasses perched on his nose. But somehow he was still a sight for sore eyes. "Hey," she called to him, "You made it."

Slowly, he approached the bed. "That looked like it hurt. You doing OK?"

"Well… It does hurt. But I’m hanging in there. Justin, this is my best friend, Kara. Kara, this is Justin." The two shook hands across the bed, and then Justin took his hat and glasses off. "Nice disguise, by the way," she giggled.

"As far as I can tell, it worked."

"Did you come by yourself?"

"Yeah. I figured bringing Lonnie would just attract more attention."

"You made pretty good time. How fast were you driving?"

"Um… Never mind," he said, averting his eyes. "The important thing is that I made it."

"Yeah, now maybe she’ll stop looking at the clock every two seconds," Kara chimed in.

"Shut up, Kara. Ow!" she exclaimed, as another contraction grabbed her. At some point during the pain, she became vaguely aware of Justin’s hand in her own. When she came through the other side, she realized she was crushing it in her grip.

"Sorry…" she said, releasing him.

"It’s OK," he said, slipping his other hand into hers, "Although I think it’s probably a good thing I’m a singer and not a painter."

"Or a pianist," Kara added.

"Yeah, you’re both a bunch of funny guys," Natalie growled, "I’d like to see you doing this."

"I don’t think I could," Justin said, seriously, "I’m in awe of how well women handle it."

"That’s OK. We get our revenge when you guys go bald," Kara said, and the three of them cracked up. "I’m going to get some coffee. I wasn’t planning to be up all night. You guys want anything?" They both said no, and Kara headed for the cafeteria.

"She seems really cool," Justin commented.

"I adore her," Natalie answered distractedly. She was wriggling around on the bed, but no matter which way she shifted, she couldn’t seem to get comfortable. Her whole body just felt miserable now. Justin watched her for a moment and then finally spoke up.

"How ‘bout a back rub? I’ve heard that can help."

"I suppose it can’t hurt."

"Oh, your enthusiasm is going to knock me over. I’m no Fatone, but I can give a decent back rub. Come here."

He turned her slightly on the bed so that she was leaning against his chest. He began gently kneading her shoulders, using just enough pressure to have an effect. His long fingers and strong hands were like magic on her aching muscles, and she let her head drop back against his shoulder. It was several minutes of pure nirvana.

Without warning, her body suddenly seized up again. Justin supported her from behind, stretching out both his arms so she could hold onto his hands. His voice low in her ear, he reminded her to breathe. The contraction was intense, but brief, and when it was over he started rubbing her back again.

"How’d I do?" he asked.

"You did great," she replied, "Are you sure you haven’t done this before?"

"Hell, no," he said, "I just said ‘Breathe’ over and over again. That’s what they always do in the movies, right?"

"Right," she said, laughing. "I think that’s all Kara says, too, but I’m not sure because it’s kind of hard to listen."

"I can imagine," he replied.

"Anyway, you’re doing great," she said, reaching behind her to touch his cheek lightly. "I’m really glad you’re here."

"Me, too," he said quietly.

Just then, the nurse came in to check on her. "How’re we doing?" she asked, as she lifted the sheet covering Natalie’s legs.

"OK, I guess," Natalie answered, "They’re getting stronger."

The nurse briskly checked Natalie’s vital signs and dilation. "You’re looking good. Up to seven centimeters already. I don’t think this will be too drawn out."

"That would be fabulous. I really don’t want this to go on forever."

The nurse chuckled. "That’s understandable. If you want, you could get up and take a short walk. Sometimes that speeds things up a little."

"OK. I just might do that. Thanks."

"Welcome. I’ll be back in a little while."

As the nurse left, Natalie turned to look at Justin, who was frowning. "What?" she asked him.

"A walk? What the hell are you going to do if one of those things hits you while you’re walking?"

"I don’t know. Ride it out, I guess. Come on, help me up."

"OK…" he said, doubtfully. But he helped her to her feet.

"I wonder where Kara got to," she mused, "It can’t take that long to get coffee." 

Slowly they made their way out into the hallway, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back. It did feel good to move around a little, and she was glad she had taken the nurse’s advice. They rounded the corner by the nursery, only to find Kara standing there, sipping her coffee and gazing at the babies.

"Hey, where you been?" Natalie asked.

"Um… I just decided to take a little walk," Kara replied. "What are you doing out here?"

"The nurse said walking might goose things along. But I think I’m ready to head back now. You coming?"

"In a minute."

"OK," Natalie replied, and she and Justin began the walk back to her room. About halfway up the hall, she stopped. "Uh oh," she said, "Here we go…" He immediately wrapped his arm around her back as she braced one arm against the wall. She feared her knees would buckle, but she managed to stay upright. With Justin’s support and a lot of huffing and puffing, she got through it. "Whew," she said, "I’m ready to get back in bed."

They got back and he helped her into the high bed. A few minutes later, Kara strolled back in, and they took to chatting aimlessly. Gradually, her contractions came closer and closer together, until she mostly dropped out of the conversation. She dimly realized Kara was telling Justin all about how the Lamaze concept worked. At one point she interrupted them to ask Kara to get her barrettes out of her bag. She was perspiring now, and her hair was sticking to her forehead. As Kara went over to the bag, Justin leaned over and said to Natalie, "I’ll be right back. I’m just going to go use the facilities."

Natalie smiled up at him in return. As he left, Kara came over and started pinning back Natalie’s damp hair. "I think…" Kara began, "I think I’m going to sit out the delivery room, OK?"

"What? Why?" Natalie said, shocked.

"Because I think that moment should belong to the two of you. I’ll just be the third wheel."

"No you won’t. Come on, Kara, you’ve been with me through all of this. You’re supposed to be my coach."

"Mostly all I do is say ‘Breathe.’ I think Justin can handle that. I think he’ll be great, actually. He seems like a terrific guy."

"Yeah, he is. He’s a real sweetheart. But I don’t think you’ll be a third wheel at all, Kara."

"I’ll be right outside, I promise."

Natalie would have continued to protest, but she was hit with a long, hard contraction. She never even heard Justin come back into the room. When she opened her eyes again, he was standing there with a concerned look on his face. "Are you sure you don’t want those drugs?" he asked.

"I really want to do this without them if I can," she replied. Justin just shook his head.

The contractions started coming almost on top of each other, then, and the pressure was almost unbearable. "I’m going to go get the nurse," Kara said.

While she was gone, Justin took over the coaching duties, trying to talk her through the pain. Out of the blue, he started singing the Faith Hill song, "Breathe," and for some reason it sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Natalie.

"Justin, stop. Don’t sing," she commanded.

"I thought you liked my singing," he said, somewhat taken aback.

"I do, normally. Right now… I just… Just don’t sing!" she exclaimed.

"OK, OK. I was just trying to add a little variety," he said.

Kara came back with the nurse and Natalie’s doctor, who checked her over again. "You’re doing great, Natalie," the doctor said, "But you’re only at nine centimeters, so you can’t start pushing just yet, OK? We’ll start prepping the delivery room and I’ll be back to check on you in a little bit. Just hang in there. No pushing."

Natalie groaned. "OK," she breathed. Another fifteen or twenty minutes went by, and she didn’t think she could take much more. The pain was intense and almost constant. Finally the doctor reappeared. She checked Natalie again and smiled at her.

"OK, Natalie. Ten centimeters. Time to go."

As much as she couldn’t wait to get this over with, the doctor’s words suddenly scared her to death. In just a little while, she would be a mother. Be responsible for another human being. Natalie unexpectedly felt overwhelmed. It must have been written all over her face, because Justin leaned down and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear, "Come on, Nat, let’s do this. You’re going to be awesome." She squeezed his hand and nodded, as they began to wheel her down to the delivery room.

At the doors, Kara gave her a hug and said, "OK, go get ‘em. I’ll see you in a little while."

"Thanks for everything, Kara," she replied.

Justin had a slightly panicked look on his face. "What? You’re not coming in?"

Kara laughed, "No. You guys don’t need me. You’ll be just fine." With that, the nurse wheeled her into the delivery room, and it was showtime.

The room seemed to her to be filled with people, although in reality it was only her doctor, the resident, two nurses, and, of course, Justin. For his part, Justin looked bewildered as the efficient medical team bustled around them, preparing her to give birth. Monitors were hooked up, she was moved into position, and a baby warmer stood at the ready. If Natalie hadn’t been in so much pain, it would have all been a bit scary.

Soon, everything was set, and the doctor took up her position and told Natalie to start pushing when the next contraction hit. Justin came around and stood next to her, holding her hand tightly. For a few seconds it seemed as if the whole room was in limbo, waiting for her body to give the cue. Then she felt her stomach start to tense again, and she began to bear down with all her might. The first two pushes didn’t feel like they accomplished much, although the pressure lessened somewhat. On the third push, she leaned forward and threw her whole body into it. Justin wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she could have sworn he was pushing, too, in his own way.

Finally, she could feel the baby start to move through the birth canal. It was, at once, the most amazing and the most excruciating thing she’d ever felt in her life. After a few minutes, she was starting to tire. Justin was ceaseless in his support, gently urging her on and reminding her to breathe. The nurse handed him a cool, wet towel, and he wiped her face with it, tenderly pushing her hair back.

Just when Natalie thought she would die from exhaustion, a whole new level of pain hit her.

"OK, Natalie, the baby’s crowning now. You’re doing great, right on schedule," the doctor reported.

"Oh… my… God, that hurts!" was her reply.

"Shh… OK, Nat, come on, you’re almost there, you’re doing awesome. Just a little while longer," Justin breathed in her ear.

"It fucking hurts!" she exclaimed. Then she thought she heard him chuckle, and she looked quickly up at him, prepared to let him have it. But all she found was his look of concern and a lip that was almost bleeding where he was chewing on it. Reassured that he wasn’t laughing at her, she returned to the task at hand.

"Come on, Natalie," the doctor exhorted, "We need another push here."

Gathering up what was left of her strength, Natalie bore down. She felt significant movement this time, and heard Justin gasp. Looking up at him again, she saw that he was transfixed by the mirror that allowed him to watch. She turned her gaze to the mirror as well, but her vision was too blurred by sweat and tears. She heard the doctor say, "OK, the head is out. Come on, Natalie. Just one or two more." She did as she was told, and with one last effort, it was over.

There was a crowd at her feet, and she tried to prop herself up to see, but she had used up the last of her reserves. Suddenly, the doctor’s voice rang out cheerfully, "It’s a boy, Natalie, and he looks pretty healthy to me." She fell back against the pillows, overcome with exhaustion and relief and emotion. Just then a tiny cry split the air as the baby lodged his first protest. Natalie’s laughter mingled with her tears as her son exercised his newly discovered lungs.

Justin turned to her, and there were tears shining in his eyes, too. He leaned over her, smoothing her hair back again and planting kisses on her forehead and cheek. "You were amazing," he whispered, "That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen." She reached for him and held him in a tight embrace. They remained in that position until she sensed someone standing on her other side. One of the nurses stood there holding the baby, now cleaned up and presentable, but still wailing.

"Ready to hold him?" she asked kindly.

Natalie gulped and nodded, and the nurse placed her son in her arms for the first time. He was absolutely, utterly beautiful. Almost as soon as he rejoined his mother, he stopped crying. She held him close while giving him a once-over, including the traditional toe-and-finger check. He was perfect.

She tore her gaze away from the baby long enough to discover Justin staring down at them, his eyes as wide as she’d ever seen them. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked softly.

Justin hesitated for a second, then replied, "Not yet. I’m enjoying this view."

The doctor was nearby, and she filled them in on the details, "Eight pounds, six ounces; born at 5:26am; and by all outward appearances, thoroughly healthy. Of course, there are some more tests we will run, but he looks pretty perfect to me. Congratulations."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything," she replied, without taking her eyes off the infant in her arms. Just then, her stomach clenched, and she jumped. The nurse quickly took the baby back, telling her that they would put him in the nursery for a little while. Natalie let him go reluctantly, but she knew she was in desperate need of rest. After she made it through the unpleasantness of the afterbirth, they gently moved her to a clean bed. As they wheeled her to the doors, she asked Justin, "You’ll go tell Kara, right?"

"Of course," he said, squeezing her hand.

"OK. See you when I wake up."

"Count on it," he replied, giving her one last peck on the cheek. That was the last bit of consciousness Natalie recalled before she fell into a deep, peaceful slumber.

Natalie was eased back to wakefulness by the beautiful sound of Justin’s voice. Unlike earlier, he now sounded like an angel to her. She didn’t recognize the song, but it had the tones and the rhythms of a lullaby. She opened her eyes to find him seated in a chair next to her bed, cradling their son in his arms and singing softly. Silently, she watched as he finished the song. Tears welled up in her eyes again, as she was overcome with joy at the sight of the two of them. The baby was sound asleep, taking rapid little baby breaths and snuggling against Justin’s chest. Justin couldn’t seem to take his eyes off his little boy.

Afraid that she would scare him, Natalie breathed, "Hey."

Justin immediately turned her way, and his face lit up with a smile. "Hey. I didn’t wake you, did I?"

"I don’t think so. Even if you did, it was worth it."

"So I’m allowed to sing again?"

She laughed. "Anytime you want. What was that, anyway? It was pretty."

"Just an old Southern lullaby my mother used to sing to me."

She reached out and ran her hand through his hair. "How’re you doing? Did you get any sleep?"

"A little. I went and called my mom and my dad first. Kara called your parents for you."

"Where is she?"

"She went home for a nap and a shower. She said she’d be back later."

"A shower… Now there’s an appealing concept."

Justin chuckled. "Think you’re up to it yet?"

"Probably not. I’ll wait a little while longer. My muscles still feel like Jell-O."

"So anyway, I slept for a while, and then the nurse brought this guy in ‘cause he was hungry. I didn’t want to wake you, and you said you weren’t going to breast-feed, so I gave him a bottle. You did tell me that, right?" He wore an anxious look now, afraid he’d done something wrong.

"Yes, I did tell you that. That was fine. Thanks for letting me sleep."

The smile was back. "No problem. You want to take him?"

"Oh, I don’t know. He looks pretty content right where he is," she replied, smiling back at him.

"He’s not the only one," Justin said. Their eyes met and held there for a few long seconds as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. She blinked as she felt the tears returning. "You OK?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I’m just… so happy. I’ve never felt anything like this."

"Me, either. Thank you."

"You, too," she said, caressing his cheek. Then she couldn’t help but laugh. "We are such saps."

He laughed with her. "Aren’t we supposed to be right now?"

"I guess so," she said. The baby stirred a bit, kicking his tiny feet. "I guess we’re also too loud for his royal highness there."

"Speaking of which, the nurse also brought in a whole bunch of paperwork while you were asleep. I filled out what I could, but I need your help with the rest." Carefully, Justin stood up. "Here, you hold him and I’ll write." Gently placing the baby in Natalie’s arms, he turned and grabbed a clipboard from the windowsill. "OK… First of all, I don’t know your middle name."

"Corine. C-O-R-I-N-E."

"That’s different," he said. "OK. Where were you born?"

"Portland, Oregon. What are you filling out, anyway?"

"The birth certificate thing."

Looking over his shoulder, she hesitated. "Justin… Are you sure you want to put your name on there?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well… I’m sure there aren’t very many Justin Timberlakes in this world. It won’t take long for someone to put two and two together."

"I don’t care," he scowled.

"All right. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to protect you, is all.

"I know that," he said, his tone softening. "But I don’t want my own son to ever question who his father is, even for a second."

"OK. What else do you need?"

"Well, just his name. Do you still want to go with ‘Benjamin’?"

"I think so. What do you think?"

"I like it as long as I get to call him ‘Ben’."

"Oh, definitely. But not ‘Benny’."

"Deal. OK, then. Benjamin it is."

As she watched Justin write the chosen name on the paper, she sighed, causing him to look back at her. "What? Change your mind? ‘Cause I’m sure they’ve got white-out."

"No… It’s just such a huge responsibility. I mean, that’s going to be his name for his whole life."

"Well, it’s not like you named him ‘Ichabod’. I’m sure he’ll like it just fine."

Natalie started giggling. "Ichabod. Can you imagine?" Little Ben started fussing in her arms and she quickly stopped laughing. "Ahem," she said, clearing her throat. "I’m going to have to get used to that whole ‘Don’t wake the baby’ thing."

Justin just smirked at her. "I’m already used to it. Chris is, like, the lightest sleeper in the world. OK… So what about middle name?"

"I wanted to ask you about that. What do you think about making it ‘Randall’?"

"After my dad?" Justin asked, his eyes wide.

"Yeah."

"Really? You’d do that?"

"Well, ‘Benjamin Randall’ has a nice ring to it, and I know it would mean a lot to you, so…"

"Yeah, it would," he said softly.

"Then write it down," she replied with a smile.

He did just that, grinning from ear to ear. "OK. So that just leaves – "

She cut him off. "Justin… It has to be ‘Moss’." It has to be." She looked at him apprehensively. This was hard for him, and she knew it.

The grin faded and he said, sadly, "Yeah. I know it does." With his pen, he put the finishing touches on the paperwork and then set it aside. Turning to the bed, he dropped a kiss on the infant’s forehead. "Well, Benjamin Randall Moss, I think you’re now officially part of this world."

The nurse came in to check on Natalie and take Ben back to the nursery for a while. Justin also handed her the paperwork, and she left quickly.

"So, how’re you feeling, anyway?" he asked her.

"Not that bad, really. Tired and a little sore, but not as bad as I thought I would feel."

"That’s good. Do you mind if I call the guys real quick?"

"Not at all."

He reached Lance’s cell phone first and proceeded to have a riotous conversation with all four of them. Natalie was laughing, and she could only hear one side of it. Justin did put her on the phone with Joey and JC, however, and they both offered warm congratulations. The absolute high point, though, was when Chris got on the phone. Soon thereafter, Justin burst out, "No, he does not have a ‘fro!" and Natalie collapsed in a fit of giggles. In fact, Ben had just a smattering of hair, and it was typical newborn hair, soft and fine.

After Justin got off the phone with them, he called each of his parents back and told them about Ben’s name. He was still on with his dad when Kara showed back up with a huge bouquet of balloons and flowers. The girls exchanged a warm hug and began chattering excitedly. Kara had still only seen Ben through the glass of the nursery, but Natalie couldn’t bring him back in just yet. So she decided now was a good time for that shower.

With Kara’s help, she showered and put on a clean nightgown, and she felt tremendously better after that. Her mood got even better when Kara told her that she had convinced her parents to wait and take their originally scheduled flight from Seattle. That would give her almost a whole week before they got here. Hallelujah. "But I think you’d better give them a call. They’re anxious to hear from you," Kara said.

"Yeah, OK, I think I can handle that," Natalie replied. So she called home, and gave them all the good news. It was actually a very pleasant conversation. For once, she felt like a fellow adult while she was talking to them. It was still difficult to grasp, however, that she really and truly was a mother. That is, until the nurse brought Ben back in, and her heart leapt up and sang at the mere sight of him. So this was what it felt like…

The rest of the day passed quickly and pleasurably. The three of them hung out, sometimes with Ben and sometimes not. The phone rang on several occasions, as her co-workers learned of the birth. Her doctor stopped by and told Natalie she was very pleased with how both she and Ben were doing. She said she had no qualms about releasing them the next morning. Natalie was glad to hear they could go home, but a little bit terrified of the prospect as well.

Kara finally excused herself from their little party, since she had to be at work early the next morning. Soon after she left, Natalie turned her attention away from "Jeopardy" to look over at Justin. She saw that his eyelids were drooping, and she reached out and took his hand. "Justin, why don’t you go and get some real sleep? You look exhausted."

"I’m OK," he protested, "I’m used to not sleeping much."

"You’re not OK," she laughed, "You should see the bags under your eyes. Where are you staying, anyway?"

"At the Rio, I guess. That’s where my other reservation is."

"Do you have a room there for tonight?"

"Not yet."

"You can stay at my house if you need to."

"Naw, that’s OK. That would be weird without you there. They usually have vacancies at the Rio. And if not, God knows there’s an empty hotel room somewhere in this town."

"Why don’t you call ahead, just to be sure?"

"Yeah. Good idea." It took Justin all of thirty seconds to book a suite at the Rio. He turned back to her. "You gonna be OK here all by yourself?"

"Oh, yeah. I’ll probably fall asleep as soon as you leave, anyway."

"OK," he said reluctantly, "Then I’m gonna get going."

"All right. Be careful over there. I’d feel better if you had Lonnie with you."

"Ah… I’ll be fine. I’m a master of disguise, remember?" he said, putting his hat back on with a flourish.

"Right," she laughed.

He took his glasses in his hand but didn’t put them on. Standing right at the edge of her bed, he said, "So I’ll come and get you guys in the morning?"

"That’ll be great."

He continued to stand there, with an expression on his face that she was unable to decipher. Finally he said, "This has been the most magical day of my life. And given the life I have led, that’s really saying something. I don’t want to leave."

Natalie smiled up at him. "He’ll still be here in the morning, Justin."

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I know. OK, I’m going. Thank you again," he said quietly. Leaning over her, he brushed a quick kiss across her lips before she ever saw it coming. Putting his silly glasses on, he said, "I’ll see you tomorrow," and took off.

Natalie was in shock for a second at the way he had made his exit. Nothing quite like a good old kiss-and-run tactic. Then again, she knew she shouldn’t read too much into it. It had been a very emotional 24 hours for both of them. And it wasn’t as if she’d never kissed a friend on the lips before. Still, as she floated away to sleep, all she could feel was the tingling where his lips had found hers.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, she was dressed and ready when Justin arrived. He strolled in, sporting his hat and glasses again. "Morning," he said, cheerfully, "Sorry I didn’t get here earlier. I overslept a little."

"Morning. It’s fine. Did you sleep well?"

"Oh yeah. You?"

"Like a rock. Everything go OK at the hotel?"

"Yeah, it was fine. I got a couple of curious looks this morning, but no one stopped me or took a picture, so it was cool."

The nurse came in and had Natalie sign some final paperwork. She also gave her yet another round of pamphlets. Then she pulled up a wheelchair, and Natalie rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know," said the nurse, "But it’s procedure."

Natalie handed the infant seat and her bag to Justin. "Here. Why don’t you go put these in the car and then bring it around to the doors?"

Justin balked, saying, "I wanted to walk out with you."

"Justin, you can’t. if one person sees you pushing me and Ben, it’s over. That picture would be all over the world in a matter of hours."

He made a disgusted noise under his breath. "I hate this. All right, I’ll meet you downstairs."

Natalie sat in the wheelchair, and the nurse pushed her to the nursery, where Ben was placed in her arms once again. Then mother and baby were rolled down to the doors, where Justin was waiting with his rented Explorer. Between them, they managed to get Ben strapped into his seat. Natalie thanked the nurse one last time, and they were off. Justin drove according to her directions, and Ben slept all the way home.

He was still asleep when they got there, so Natalie put him in his crib and took Justin on the brief tour of her cozy little house. After that, they weren’t quite sure what to do with themselves. "I guess we just wait for him to wake up," Natalie laughed. "You want some lunch?"

"Sure," Justin said, "I can always eat."

So they sat down and managed to finish their whole meal before a howl went up from Ben. They worked in tandem, changing him, feeding him, changing him again and then taking turns holding him until he fell back asleep.

"Whew. That was exciting," Justin joked.

"I think it gets more interesting when they start walking," Natalie laughed.

Justin turned serious. "Actually, I could just sit and stare at him all day and I’d be happy."

"Me, too," Natalie sighed. "You wanna watch a movie?" So they did, and the rest of the day flew by.

Eventually, Justin said, "Well, I should probably get going."

"OK. Be careful. See you tomorrow?"

He kissed her on the cheek. "Count on it."

Natalie got very little sleep that night, as she apparently had a nocturnal creature for a child. She definitely would not be letting him sleep so much tomorrow. When Justin arrived in the morning, his face fell when he saw her. "What’s wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"Nothing’s wrong. I just hardly got any sleep. I think he’s a vampire."

Justin burst out laughing and she couldn’t help but smile, too. "Come on," he said, gently pushing her up the stairs. "You’re going back to bed."

"But…"

"But nothing. I can take care of him for a few hours. You have got to get some sleep."

Natalie obliged, and she slept for quite a while. In all the excitement over Ben, she kept forgetting how much of an ordeal her own body had been through.

When she woke up and went downstairs, it was her turn to laugh. Justin and Ben were on the floor of the living room, surrounded by baby clothes. When Justin saw her, he turned pink and said, "Aw hell. I wanted to clean this up before you came down."

"What happened?" she said, still laughing.

"Well, first I spilled formula on him. Then after I actually got some in him, he threw it back up. Then we had a diaper-changing incident. Then the blue outfit I put on him pissed him off for some reason and he wouldn’t stop crying. I can’t believe he didn’t wake you up. So I took off the blue one and put on the green one, and now look at him."

Ben was lying contentedly in his infant seat, kicking his feet and gurgling.

"He looks fine to me," Natalie said.

"Yeah, he does. But I’m a wreck."

She stifled her laugh this time and came around behind him to give him a hug. He leaned back against her and relaxed. "You did fine," she said, "Look how happy he is now."

"Yeah," he said, "I just wish that hadn’t happened on the first time I was alone with him."

She giggled. "Well, at least you got it out of the way. I still have the threat of my first disaster hanging over my head."

"Whatever," he said, swatting at her with a pillow. She started picking up clothes as Ben’s eyes tracked her movements. "No, no, no, I’ll get it," Justin protested.

"I think you need a break," she said, "I’m just going to throw these in the wash real quick. So he doesn’t like the blue one, huh?"

"Apparently not. It’s either that or he just doesn’t like me."

"I’m sure that’s not it," she replied.

That day was a bit more eventful than the first, including visits from Kara and two of Natalie's friends from work. This all kept Ben up more, but he still didn’t want to go to bed that night. Justin finally said, "Why don’t you go to sleep and I’ll stay until he goes to bed?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go on. Go to bed."

"OK," she said, doubtfully. "Good night."

When she woke up, the sun was shining brightly, which alarmed her. She was afraid she had slept right through Ben’s cries. Racing into his room, she almost tripped over Justin, who was asleep on the floor next to Ben’s crib. Ben himself was snoring peacefully. Justin’s head rested on a stuffed animal of some sort, and he was out cold. It was becoming apparent to her that he could sleep anywhere. Natalie tiptoed back out of the room and grabbed her camera. After snapping several shots of the two of them, she put it away and came back to wake Justin up.

Gently, she shook his shoulder until his eyes fluttered open. "Mmmm?" was all he said.

"Justin, why don’t you get off this floor and go sleep in my bed for a while? Come on," she urged him. It took a few minutes, but she finally managed to get him down the hall to her bedroom. He was asleep again before he was even completely horizontal. She covered him and went back for Ben, who was now stirring.

She fed Ben, then ate her own breakfast as he watched delightedly. With the exception of not sleeping too well and that little incident with Justin yesterday, Ben really seemed to be a happy baby. She hoped he stayed that way. When she finished eating, she started thinking maybe it was time for Ben’s first bath. Well, his first one at home, anyway.

Just then, Justin appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. He was completely disheveled, still wearing yesterday’s clothes with rumpled hair to match. He also looked a bit grumpy.

"Morning," she said.

"Morning," he answered in a low rumble.

"I was just thinking about giving Ben a bath."

"Can you wait a few minutes for me? I’m much nicer after breakfast, and then I can help you."

She chuckled, "Sure, I can do that."

"You got any cereal?"

"Cabinet above the sink."

She let him rummage around and put his breakfast together while she gathered all the baby bath stuff. When Justin was done eating, he stood up and rubbed his hands together and said, "OK. Much better. Let’s wash the little vampire."

"Did he let you sleep at all?" she asked.

"Never for more than an hour at a time. And that only happened twice. I slept next to him so I could keep him from waking you up."

"You didn’t have to do that, you know. We could have at least taken turns."

"It’s OK. I didn’t mind." He scooped Ben up out of his seat and headed toward the sink. "Besides, I’m about to get my revenge now. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!" The baby just blinked at him. "He’ll be a lot more fun when he gets my sense of humor," Justin grumbled.

"I think that’ll be a little while yet. Or, in your case, maybe a long while."

"Hey!" Justin pretended to take offense.

"I’m just teasing," she said, punching him lightly on the arm. "I love your sense of humor."

"Yeah, you once said that about my voice, too. Then you changed your tune."

"I was in labor! Normal rules do not apply. You’re never going to let me live that down are you?"

"Nope."

Natalie sighed and took the baby from him. Together, they bathed him. Ben fussed a little at first, his lower lip quivering. But he adjusted to the water and actually seemed to enjoy it. His parents certainly enjoyed the job as they worked side by side. "Hey Justin," Natalie ventured.

"Yeah?"

"Why don’t you just get your stuff and stay here? The couch in the office folds out, and I hate the idea of you going in and out at the Rio. You’re a lot safer here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am."

"OK, then. I’d like that. I’ll go get my stuff later."

"OK."

"Nat… Why is so much of his hair falling out? Am I doing something wrong?"

"No. That’s normal. Lots of babies lose the hair they’re born with."

"Oh, OK. Just as long as it doesn’t grow back curly."

She had to laugh. "Oh come on… I love your curls."

"You wouldn’t love ‘em if you had to live with them. Or if you have to deal with his for the first ten years of his life."

"I know, I know. But they’re so cute. And they set you apart. He could certainly do worse than to grow up looking like his daddy. If nothing else, I sure hope he has your smile."

Justin ducked his head a little, and she could see his ears turning pink. "Well, I’m just glad he has your eyes."

"You think so?" she said, peering down at Ben. His eyes were big and mostly round, like hers, and they were slowly becoming a similar shade of chocolate brown.

"I think your eyes are beautiful, and I think his are gonna look just like ‘em."

It was her turn to blush. Swatting Justin with the towel, she lifted Ben from his little tub and wrapped him up in terrycloth. She sent Justin upstairs for a diaper, which she had somehow forgotten to bring down. While she waited for him, she gazed at Ben and thought about how perfectly domestic this all was. These last few days had been straight out of a Cleaver-esque dream world, with the two of them acting like they’d been married for years. It was pleasant and warm, and she could feel it lulling her into a false sense of security.

Justin returned with the diaper and said, "Don’t let me forget to watch MTV tonight. The guys are on."

"Are you supposed to be there?" she asked, alarmed.

"Well, originally, yeah, but this is way more important. I just want to see how they do."

"What’s the occasion?"

"Lance’s company’s new thriller is premiering tonight and MTV’s throwing a costume party."

"Costumes?"

Justin looked at her like she had two heads. "Nat, it’s Halloween."

"Oh… right. I just forgot – Ah, shit," she said, then looked at Ben and quickly covered her mouth, making Justin laugh.

"I don’t think he quite understands you yet. What’s the matter with Halloween?"

"Nothing. I just don’t have any candy to hand out is all."

"There’s a market up the street, right?" She nodded. "When I go over to get my stuff, I’ll stop by and pick up a few bags of candy."

"Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea," she said sarcastically, "What if someone sees you?"

"You know, I do sometimes go out in public."

"Usually with two scary, 300-pound men." He made a face at her. "OK, tough guy, what are you going to say if someone asks you what you’re doing there?"

"I’ll tell them that I’m loading up on chocolate to take back to my love nest, where all my friends are waiting for me so the homosexual orgy can begin. That oughtta distract ‘em from the real scandal for a while, don’t you think?" He was joking, but there was an edge to his voice.

"Oh my God," Natalie said, rolling her eyes, "You are terrible."

"Yeah, well… It’s a defense mechanism, I guess." He picked up Ben’s dirty things and walked out of the kitchen without looking back at her. She sighed and hugged Ben a little closer to her. The subject of Justin's celebrity was such a touchy one between the two of them. He liked to pretend it was a non-issue, but she knew better. And the day was fast approaching when he would have to come to terms with how to have it co-exist with Ben in his life.

She passed through the living room on her way to put Ben down for a nap. Justin was pulling on his sneakers and cap. As she headed up the stairs, she heard the front door close. It wasn’t like him to walk out without saying anything, so she figured he was pretty upset. Settling Ben into his crib and winding up his mobile, she headed for the shower.

It was several hours before Justin returned, and she grew a little worried. Finally she heard his car pull up in her driveway, and she quickly met him at the door. He had a suitcase in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. "Hey," she said, taking the groceries from him, "I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back."

He stopped as he put down his suitcase. Looking her right in the eye, he said quietly, "I wouldn’t do that." Then he walked back out the door. Natalie set the brown bag on the counter and followed him out to the Explorer. She was taken aback when she discovered the trunk was full of bags.

"No wonder you were gone so long. Did you leave anything in the store?"

Justin chuckled. "Well, I also went for a little ride. But then when I got to the store, I figured I might as well stock up."

Natalie shook her head and grabbed a couple of bags. She was amused to find one whole bag filled with cereal boxes. The rest contained basics, as well as quite a bit of baby stuff. When she pulled a large package of diapers from the trunk, she started to wonder. It was almost as if Justin wanted the world to find out about Ben by "accident" and that worried her.

Finally they got everything unloaded and put away. She set out a big bowl of candy for the trick-or-treaters and then they both sat down on the couch. "Look, Nat," he began, "I’m sorry I got so pissy with you earlier."

"Don’t worry about it," she said, dismissively.

"It’s just… Being famous has so many perks, but sometimes it just sucks. And right now, I’d give anything to just be Joe Blow, so I could take my son to the park, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"It just sucks. But I didn’t mean to take it out on you. So I’m sorry."

"Apology accepted," she said, smiling at him. He smiled back, but it was a sad smile, certainly not what he was capable of. They watched "SportsCenter" in silence for a few minutes, until Ben started crying.

Justin immediately jumped up. "I’ll get him," he said, heading for the stairs. She didn’t answer him, but she followed him with her eyes.

They spent the rest of the day very quietly. Natalie wrote out birth announcements while Justin took some digital pictures of Ben to send to his family. Little was said between the two of them, and it felt as if a cloud hung over the house. There was a small measure of comic relief when the Halloween revelers started trickling by. But even that turned sour when Natalie refused to let Justin hand out candy.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Are you dense? Every one of those kids would probably know you."

"Oh, so what?"

"So what? So, I don’t want photographers on my lawn in the morning, that’s what."

"Fine," he said, "Then I’m going to go make some dinner." Pouting, he stalked into the kitchen. By the time he had cooked up a surprisingly tasty meal of chicken and pasta, he was himself again. They ate comfortably together, and he blushed when she complimented his culinary ability.

After dinner, they settled in on the couch with Ben to watch Lance’s MTV thing. Justin’s four best friends were in fine form, and Dave Holmes kept the wisecracks coming. Justin and Natalie were frequently in stitches, which seemed to arouse Ben’s curiosity. Inevitably, however, Dave asked the guys where Justin was. Natalie held her breath, but JC answered without missing a beat. "He’s at home watching us. He wasn’t feeling well."

Chris chimed in, waving at the camera, "Hi Curly!"

That was good enough for Dave, who changed the subject. Justin, however, let out a disgusted growl. "Not feeling well, my ass."

"What did you want them to say, Justin?" she asked, rhetorically.

"How about, ‘Justin’s at home, holding his beautiful baby boy’? Fuck that," he snarled. Passing Ben to her, he said, "I’m going to bed."

She was nearly speechless at his little outburst. She managed to stammer, "Do you want me to help you make up the bed?"

"Sheets are in the hall closet, right?"

"Right."

"Naw, I’ll get it. Good night," he said, storming up the stairs.

"Good night," she called after him. Cradling Ben, she fought off tears. She had the distinct feeling this was going to get worse before it got better.

The next two days passed uneventfully, in what Natalie assumed was the calm before the storm. Her parents were due in today, and she took Ben with her to the airport. It felt good to get out of the house, which she hadn’t done much this past week. She was apprehensive about her parents meeting Justin, though, both because the situation was so complicated and because she never knew what would come out of her mother’s mouth. But she had warned Justin accordingly, and so she just kept her fingers crossed.

When her parents came off the plane, they rushed over to her and began fussing over Ben. He was not their first grandchild, so they were well-schooled in the art of spoiling. Natalie had to admit it was good to see them. They were their usual selves, with her mother chattering and her father only weighing in once in a while when he thought it was important. She knew they’d adore Ben; as they neared her home was when she began to get nervous.

But Justin really turned on the charm, and her parents fell for it. It was all she could do not to laugh. He certainly had plenty of practice, and the Southern accent helped, too. Predictably, neither of her parents recognized him, and Natalie and Justin left it alone. In fact no one even questioned the obviously odd arrangement in place in her home, where Justin was staying in a different bedroom. Natalie was amazed at her mother’s good behavior. On the third day, her mother pulled her aside and lowered her voice. "He’s really very cute. Where’d you find him?"

Uh oh, Natalie thought, here we go. And even though her mother obviously thought she was being discreet, Justin heard her. He threw Natalie a smirk over his shoulder, and she rolled her eyes. "I met him downtown, Mom," she finally answered.

"He’s a bit younger than you, too, isn’t he?"

"Yes, he is."

"How much younger?"

"Mom…"

"I’m just curious."

"About six years."

"Well, that’s not such a big gap. That’s pretty impressive."

"What is?"

"That you bagged a young studmuffin like that."

"Mom!" she protested, and she saw Justin convulsing with silent laughter.

"What? He’s handsome. I bet Ben will look just like him."

With that, she walked away, leaving Natalie blushing, but also laughing. Justin finally turned around, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I told you," Natalie said, shaking her head.

But that was the last thing her mother said that embarrassed her. Her parents spent most of their time playing with Ben, shopping for Ben, or gambling down on the Strip. They owned their own business in Seattle, so they could only stay for a few days, anyway. After Natalie dropped them off at the airport, she reflected on what had been a very pleasant visit. She was almost sorry to see them go. Almost.

Her parents’ flight had been a later one, and she was tired when she arrived home. Opening her front door, she found Justin asleep on the couch, with Ben sound asleep on his broad chest. Quietly, she closed the door behind her, not wanting to disturb them. Taking off her jacket and setting her purse on the table, she sat down across from them and just watched them sleep for a few minutes. Justin would be leaving on the day after tomorrow, and it was a moment she was dreading. She would miss him, and on some level, she was sure Ben would, too. But it was Justin she worried most about. He was very attached to this idea of fatherhood, and he doted on Ben. Natalie couldn’t imagine being separated from Ben herself, and she knew how painful it was going to be for Justin. She just hoped he could get through it okay.

She stood up and gently touched Justin’s shoulder. His eyes opened slowly and she said, "Hey. How about I put the little guy to bed?"

He smiled and yawned, "I think you better put the big guy to bed, too."

She chuckled and lifted Ben to her shoulder. He never even stopped snoring as she carried him upstairs and laid him in his crib. The nights were getting chillier now, and as she kissed him goodnight, she tucked his blanket around his little form. She turned to go and found Justin behind her. He was leaning against the inside of the door frame, an infinitely sad expression on his face. She crossed the room to him, stopping just short of the door.

Without saying a word, he reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace. It was the first time they’d been this physically close since they’d left the hospital. Putting his head down on her shoulder, he whispered, "I don’t want to leave."

"I know," she whispered back, caressing the back of his neck, "I know."

They remained that way for what seemed like forever before Justin finally pulled away from her. "I’m going to bed," he said quietly. Bending down to kiss her forehead, he added, "Good night."

"Good night, Justin," she said, sadly. They retreated to their respective ends of the hallway, but neither of them slept well that night.

The next two days flew by in a blur, and suddenly it was time for Justin to go. He had to catch a plane to New York, where a fresh round of publicity appearances would begin. The new album was coming out in just two weeks. Justin’s presence during this promotional blitz was not up for discussion; even he knew that. But it was obviously breaking his heart to leave Ben behind.

He had packed his things and was sitting on the couch giving Ben a bottle. Natalie tried to stay busy in the kitchen, to give him some time alone with his son. She could hear him singing softly, as he’d often done during these two magical weeks. Despite their running joke about her telling him not to sing, she knew she would miss his quiet crooning. Finally, the music stopped, and she heard a creak as he made his way up the stairs.

When he came back down, Justin wouldn’t even meet her eyes. He silently slipped into his jacket, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, I guess I’d better go," he mumbled.

Walking over to him at the door, she replied, "Justin, you can’t beat yourself up like this."

"I just hate to leave him, Nat. I feel like I’m going to miss everything."

"I know that. And I wish you didn’t have to. But… It’s not like you’re going on a vacation. Travel is a huge part of what you do. And you know if you didn’t have music, you’d go crazy. Don’t feel so guilty about this."

He finally lifted his eyes to hers, and she could see they were filling up. "I can’t help it," he said miserably.

Her heart ached for him, and she drew him into her arms. He was trembling but he held off the tears. They rocked back and forth together, clinging to these last moments. At last, he pulled away from her slightly, locking his gaze on hers. "I’m really going to miss you, too. You know that, right?"

"And I’ll miss you. But I’m really glad you were able to share this time with me. It’s been wonderful."

"Yes, it has," he whispered, and his emotions threatened to overtake him. Clearing his throat, he stepped back. "I should go check on him one last – "

Natalie stopped him. "Justin, you have to go. You’re going to miss your flight."

Reluctantly, he turned back toward her. "Yeah, I know," he said. Picking up his bag, he added, "I’ll call you every day, OK? Probably twenty times a day."

"OK."

"And send me pictures, OK?"

"OK."

"A’ight. I’m outta here. Take care, Nat," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"You, too," she replied. And then he gathered his other things and headed out the door. Her heart was heavy as she watched him pile everything into the Explorer and pull out of her driveway. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she silently prayed he would be all right.


	5. Chapter 5

True to his word as always, Justin called three times the next day. And the next. Even as the album release date grew closer and his schedule grew more hectic, he never missed a day. She emailed him pictures every day at first, too, although they all looked pretty similar. Meanwhile, Natalie watched all their appearances on television, taping many of them so Ben could see them one day.

As she watched the interviews and performances, it was hard to reconcile the rock star on TV with the quiet man who had shared her home for two weeks. The cameras definitely encouraged a different side of Justin's personality. But even in the glare of the lights, she could see a change in him. He wasn’t as boyish or as exuberant as he had been on the last talk-show go-round. He even let his bandmates finish their sentences most of the time. He seemed to have suddenly grown up. For some reason, Natalie felt a strange sense of pride when she watched him.

She often held Ben up while Justin was on the screen, even though she knew he couldn’t really focus on it yet. She hoped that maybe Ben would recognize Justin’s voice at least. That caused her to reflect on just how sad this situation was. Ben would probably see his father more on television than in person, unless Justin’s popularity waned suddenly. She felt bad for both father and son, because they would both miss out. But she had known all along that it would have to be this way, and Justin would accept it in time.

NSync’s album debuted at number one and had very strong first-week sales. In addition, it garnered them some of the best reviews of their careers. The chances they had taken had paid off, and Justin was ecstatic. He chattered happily on the phone to her, and it felt so good to hear the joy in his voice. She was glad something had finally distracted him from missing Ben so much. He also reported excitedly that they would be in L.A. for Thanksgiving and that he might be able to get to Vegas for a day or two. Everything was falling into place nicely.

Then, without warning, it all began to unravel, as the first rumor reared its ugly head. They never would find out how it leaked, but there it was, on a gossip website: "Justin Timberlake allegedly has secret love child." It was a very different Justin who called her that night. "Hi," he said flatly, "Did you see it?"

"See what?" she asked.

"There’s a rumor on the Internet about my ‘secret love child.’"

"Where did that come from?" she said, troubled by this news.

"I have no idea. But the Jive people saw it and now they’re trippin’. They were actually yelling at me."

"For what?"

"For not telling them."

"Well, the point of a secret is to tell as few people as possible."

"That’s pretty much what I told them."

"So now what?"

"Well, it hasn’t spread to the mainstream press yet. The official line is ‘No comment.’"

"OK."

"Hey – It looks like Thursday’s a go. You gonna be around?"

"Yeah, we’ll be here."

"Cool. I think I can stay for, like, 24 whole hours," he said, dryly.

Natalie chuckled. "Imagine that!" she deadpanned.

"Hush," he said, but she could hear the smile back in his voice. "I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?"

"OK. Bye."

By Wednesday, the mainstream press was nibbling at the edges of the story, and Natalie was getting nervous. Justin had been fine as long as it was a matter of not telling anyone. If it came down to lying to a reporter, she didn’t know how he would react. She called him that night. "Maybe you shouldn’t come out here tomorrow."

"Why not? I’m really looking forward to it."

"What if some reporter follows you? They’re already sniffing around in L.A."

"Oh, they’re not so interested that they’d tail me on Thanksgiving. Besides, I don’t give a rat’s ass. I want to see you guys. I’m coming out there."

"OK," Natalie relented, "Just be careful."

"I will. I’ll see you around three tomorrow, OK? We have to do a morning radio show."

"OK. Bye." As she hung up the phone, her head buzzed with misgivings. She just had a bad feeling about this.

Thanksgiving Day dawned as a spectacular fall day. It was the warmest day they’d had for weeks, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Thanks to Ben, she was up in time to catch most of the Macy’s Parade on TV. After an early lunch, both mother and baby fell back asleep. When Natalie struggled back to consciousness, she was alarmed to see that it was after 1:30 already. She got up and hurried into the shower. Once she was dressed, she had to get Ben dressed. He was fussing because he was hungry, and she had to fight with him a little to get his pants snapped up. She was on her way to appease him with his bottle when the doorbell rang.

Misgivings or not, she couldn’t help but smile as Justin’s whole being lit up when she opened the door. "Hey, you," was all he said as he stepped into the house and enveloped Natalie and Ben in a bear hug. She inhaled the scent of his light, woodsy cologne. For some reason, it calmed her, and she suddenly realized she now distinctly associated that smell with him. She breathed deep, soaking it in.

Ben broke up their embrace with a plaintive wail, and Justin laughed, "Was I smothering you there, little man?"

"He’s just hungry. His bottle is overdue. Let me go get it." She handed the baby to Justin and headed into the kitchen. It took her a minute to warm up the formula. When she returned, she found Justin comfortably ensconced in the corner of the couch, talking to Ben in a voice so low she couldn’t hear his words. But Ben appeared to be listening intently to whatever it was Justin was saying. She smiled at them as she crossed the room. "You two look like you belong in a Rockwell painting," she said.

Justin lifted his head and smiled shyly at her. "I missed him. I had no idea how much you could miss a person who can’t even talk yet." He took the bottle from her outstretched hand and tilted it toward Ben’s mouth. The infant sucked greedily at the plastic nipple, and Justin chuckled. "Have you been starving him or what?"

"Well, he is a growing boy, after all," she replied, "I’ll be back in a minute." She went upstairs, both to find some pictures she had for Justin and also to give them a few minutes without her hovering over them. When she came back down, Ben had just about disposed of his bottle, and Justin was watching him intently, like he was made of pure gold.

She sank down onto the couch next to them. "These are some pictures I had made for you," she said, "I figured – "

"We need to talk," he said abruptly. Setting the bottle down, he shifted Ben to his shoulder and started patting his back. "I can’t do this. I can’t just deny his existence. I want to tell the truth."

"Justin…" she warned, her eyes wide.

"I don’t like lying," he said quietly, "And I don’t want Ben to grow up and think I was ashamed of him."

"That’s very sweet, but you know this isn’t a good idea."

Justin’s nervous energy became apparent, as he bounced up off the couch and started pacing, with Ben still on his shoulder. "I don’t think it would be that bad. It’d be like what happened with Joey – a commotion for a couple of weeks and then everybody’ll forget all about it. It’ll be fine."

Natalie opened her mouth to respond, but then she bit her tongue. She wouldn’t say it. Surely it was already obvious to him. But he saw her swallow her words. "What?" he demanded, "What were you going to say?"

"Just that…" she hesitated. Oh, the hell with it. She had to talk him out of this. "As much as I know you don’t want to hear it, you are not Joey. The situations are not the same. Most people in this country couldn’t pick Joey out of a line-up. You, on the other hand…"

"Oh, stop. There’s not that big a difference." Just then, Ben let out a yawp of a burp that startled Justin.

"Like father, like son," Natalie said, shaking her head in amusement. Turning back to the subject at hand, she continued, "A story on Joey for them is like a ripple. Dirt on you is like a tidal wave. They’re dying to get something on you, because you’re squeaky clean. It will be a firestorm."

He sighed noisily, "You sound like those idiots at Jive. Whose side are you on, anyway?"

"It’s not about sides. I don’t want to see anybody get hurt."

"Nobody’s going to get hurt. You’re all overreacting." There was a note of anger in his voice which sparked a similar response from her.

"Oh, really?" she snapped, "And what about when they ask you when you lost your virginity? Are you going to answer that, too?"

"Of course not," he growled.

"So then they’ll go after Britney, wanting to know if she’s been lying. Or maybe they’ll track down your grandma for a quote. And then they’ll want to know when you and I are getting married. It’ll just kick off a whole chain of events that is completely avoidable."

"Avoidable how? By me having no contact with you and never seeing my son? That’s not acceptable to me!" he exclaimed. Ben whimpered, and Justin realized he was yelling in the baby’s ear. An expression of self-loathing passed over his face, and he kissed the top of Ben’s head. "Sorry," she heard him whisper. "I’m going to take him upstairs," he mumbled, "I’ll be right back."

She closed her eyes and tried to gather her composure. Fighting about this wouldn’t do any of them any good. She just had to find the key to convincing him that he couldn’t go public. It would be a disaster for Justin, for Ben, and even for her. They could figure out another way for Justin to see his son without compromising their privacy.

Several long minutes later, Justin returned, and he seemed to have calmed down somewhat. He sat sideways on the couch, tucking his leg under and facing her. Taking a deep breath, he began again, "I just can’t stand the lies. I love Ben, I’m proud to be his father, and I don’t care who knows it."

"But you know it’s more complicated than that."

"Why? Why does it have to be complicated?"

"Because there are so many people who watch every move you make, Justin. You have the kind of fame that you can’t just ignore at will."

"Yes, I know that," he said, getting testy again, "But I can choose to say ‘Screw them’ and do what I want for once."

Her own anger was building again. "So… You get your way, and damn the consequences."

"It’s not about getting my way. It’s about being able to live my life. For the last seven or eight years, this faceless ‘They’ of the media has been controlling my world. It gets old."

"I’m sure it does. But I don’t want Ben and I to be the sacrificial lambs so you can prove your point."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Now it was her turn to jump up and pace. "It means that you’re being so selfish that you’re not seeing the whole picture. Have you ever once stopped to consider the effect this will have on me and Ben? Has it ever even crossed your mind?" When he didn’t answer right away, she continued, "I don’t want Ben to grow up in the glare of the spotlight. He deserves the chance at a normal life. You chose to give up that right, but it’s not fair for you to make that choice for him. And I’m pretty happy having my own identity. I don’t relish the thought of becoming known as ‘the mother of Justin Timberlake’s child’ or having to worry about photographers every time I leave the house. I didn’t ask to be famous."

"You’re not," he said, "And you don’t have to be."

"Justin, come on! You know how this works! You admit to having a son, and a thousand computers will go into overdrive until they find your name on a birth certificate, which also conveniently has my name on it. From there it isn’t too hard for them."

"You didn’t seem too worried about any of this when you slept with me," he said, bitterly. "You knew who I was."

She recoiled from his harsh words. "You didn’t mean that. And I’m not going to dignify it with a response."

He put his head in his hands, and she thought he would go bald, the way he was pulling on his hair. "So I’m selfish for not considering those consequences, huh? What about the fact that I will never get to see you guys? Why don’t you care about that?"

"How is that going to change if you go public? You’ll still be on the road most of the time."

"But you could come with me."

"What?" Natalie asked, startled.

Justin exhaled and lowered his voice. "When I came here today, I was going to ask you to come with us on tour. We could get our own bus and… But there will be no hiding Ben if we do that."

"Justin, I don’t know if the road is really the best place for an infant."

"He will have anything and everything he needs, including security. I’ll make sure of that."

"I know you will, but – "

He interrupted her. "And I will have everything I need. To watch my son grow up and to be with you." He said this last very quietly, never taking his eyes off hers.

She blinked and said, "Me?"

He breathed a tiny puff of frustration and replied, "Yes, you." Pausing to gather his courage, he said, "I love you, Natalie. I just didn’t know how to tell you."

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs and the walls were coming toward her. She had no idea what to say, so she did the only thing that came readily to mind. "Justin… You love Ben, and that’s as it should be. But you’re projecting those feelings onto me. You don’t love me. You don’t even know me well enough."

Immediately, he erupted again. "Don’t know you well enough? After everything we’ve been through together? That’s just fucking great. First you tell me how to live my life. Now I lay it on the line and tell you how I feel, and I’m wrong about that, too! I guess I don’t even know how to feel on my own anymore."

"Justin, I didn’t mean – "

"I do love Ben. More than anything. But my phone calls with you are the highlight of my day. And that was true even before Ben was born. When I’m not here, he’s not the only one I miss. I go to sleep at night wondering what you’re doing. But I guess I’m just ‘projecting’ those feelings. Forget I said anything." He walked over to where he had thrown his stuff and started putting his coat on.

Anxiously, Natalie said, "Where are you going?"

"Back to L.A."

"But, Justin, you just got here. Wait, sit down, let’s finish talking about this."

"I think we are finished. There’s no point in fighting all afternoon. You just think I’m a selfish bastard who doesn’t know his own heart. I don’t feel like listening to it anymore."

"That is _not_ what I think."

"Well, regardless, I don’t want to be here right now." He picked up his bag and headed to her front door.

"Don’t you at least want to say goodbye to Ben?" she asked, aware of how desperate she sounded.

He turned to look at her, and his eyes were like daggers. "I don’t see much point in getting too attached to him, do you?" he said, coldly. Natalie swallowed hard and couldn’t answer him. He continued to glare at her as he walked out and slammed the door behind him. Seconds later, she heard his car peel out of her driveway. She stood rooted to her spot by the door, in utter shock at what had just taken place. Soon enough, her emotions overcame her, and she crumpled onto her couch and wept.


	6. Chapter 6

The next two weeks were miserable ones for Natalie. She kept replaying the fight with Justin over and over in her head. He didn’t call her once, not even to return one of the many messages she left on his voicemail. Finally, after the first week, she gave up calling him. She was at a total loss as to what to do next. It was so important for Justin to be a part of Ben’s life. She wracked her brain trying to devise a solution that wouldn’t reveal their secret to the world. But she kept coming up empty.

Meanwhile, NSync were still doing heavy publicity for the new album. Every time they were on television, Justin appeared melancholy. He spoke only when he was directly asked a question, which was completely out of character for him. Natalie noticed the worried looks his friends were giving him as well. She wished he would just call her back, so she could at least talk to him and make sure he was all right. It was hard for her to admit to herself, but she really missed their daily phone calls. They had been the high point of her day, too.

Just when she was about to physically track him down somewhere, he called her. The conversation was brief and tense. He was in town for the Billboard Awards, and his mom and friends wanted to see Ben. So they were all coming over. Natalie went into a stereotypical tizzy over the fact that his mother would be at her house, and she threw all her nervous energy into cleaning. By the time they arrived, her house was sparkling. Unfortunately, her nerves hadn’t abated any.

Justin’s mom, Lynn, was cordial to her, but Natalie could tell that she knew what had happened between her and Justin. Chris and Lance came along, too, and they were both friendly, although they seemed to be watching Justin with a wary eye. As for Justin, he said hello but refused to look her in the eye. She brought Ben down to the living room to meet all of them, and, of course, they all made a big fuss over him. Justin forgot his anger for a few minutes, and she watched him beaming at his son. As she stood there, she suddenly felt like she would cry, and she retreated to the kitchen.

She stood by the sink, trying to restore her poise, but her thoughts were scattered. How had it come to this? She wanted Justin to be with Ben. And, yes, goddamn it, she missed Justin herself. She missed his beautiful smile, and she missed his gentle touches on her arm or her back. She missed the lullabies he sang to Ben. But most of all, she missed talking to him for hours on end. They came from such different backgrounds, but they usually seemed to see things in the same light. Until now, that was. She pounded her fists on the countertop in frustration, then nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed Chris standing in the doorway.

"Oh my God, Chris, you scared me!"

He held up a hand in apology. "I’m sorry. I was going to announce myself, but you were busy beating the shit out of the counter over there."

"Um, sorry," she said, sheepishly, "I’m just a little frustrated. Can I get you something?"

"No, I was looking for you, actually."

"Why’s that?" she asked apprehensively.

Chris chuckled. "You don’t have to look so scared. I don’t bite. I am, however, a world-class meddler in other people’s business, and I’m about to do it again."

"Oh, really?" she said, somewhat offended, but mostly amused. It was so hard not to like Chris, especially when he was being so straightforward with her.

"Yes, really," he replied, "I’ll keep it short so Justin doesn’t figure out what I’m up to in here and come kick my ass. So here’s the deal. I can’t tell you how to run your life, and God knows I sympathize with your desire not to lose your privacy. Being famous is a drag sometimes. But not being with people you care about sucks all the time." 

Chris paused for a breath, then went on, "He is so depressed right now. We have to drag him out of bed when he has to be somewhere. You and Ben became his whole world, and now he feels like it’s been taken away. I’m telling you, before Thanksgiving, it was ‘Natalie’ this and ‘Natalie’ that. Or else he had his pictures of Ben spread out on his bed while he talked to you on the phone. You two mean everything to him. He’s like a different person."

Natalie felt the tears springing to her eyes again, and they threatened to spill over. Chris saw this, and his tone softened. "Look, I’m not trying to guilt-trip you. I know you have your reasons for wanting to keep Ben under wraps. But is it worth all this heartache? Justin is completely crazy about you. You may think that’s just an extension of his feelings about Ben, but it’s not." She couldn’t help but snicker, and Chris paused. "What?" he asked.

"You guys really are like a bunch of old women, you know that? Do you tell each other _everything_?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Chris said, with a smile. "We are each other’s family when we’re out there traveling. And that’s how I can say to you with total confidence that I know how he feels about you. I’ve never seen him like this before. If you don’t feel that way about him, fine, but don’t discount his feelings, because they’re real. And, anyway, I think you do feel that way, and you’re just scared. Which is understandable, given the circumstances. And you wouldn’t be the first woman to be scared away." He stopped and looked at her searchingly, but she didn’t respond. "Anyway," he said with a sigh, "That’s all I have to say about that. I’m sorry if you think my meddling was out of line."

"No," she said quickly, "It wasn’t."

"OK, good," he said with a smile. "Here," he continued, grabbing a pen from the counter, "Let me give you my cell phone number. If you want me to mediate, give me a call. I know he won’t answer his phone."

"No, he won’t," she said, sadly, "Believe me, I’ve tried."

"I know you have. All right, I better get back out there. Don’t hesitate to call me."

"Thanks, Chris," she said quietly.

"Anytime," he replied, his eyes dancing. And then he vanished from the kitchen as quickly as he had appeared.

After gathering her wits about her, Natalie rejoined the group in the living room. They didn’t stay too much longer, and Justin continued to refuse to look in her direction. It was awkward and tense, and she thanked God for Chris, who kept using his humor to distract everyone. Finally, Ben started to fall asleep, and Justin took him upstairs. When he returned, the group made a rather hasty exit. Chris looked over his shoulder and mouthed, "Call me," at her. She nodded at him in return. 

Once they were gone, she turned on the TV and curled up in her easy chair. She stared at the screen, but she wasn’t really seeing it. Her brain was busy trying to digest the conversation she’d had with Chris. Maybe Justin really was in love with her. And maybe she really did feel the same way. But was the potential relationship worth all the hassle they would have to go through to pursue it?

She was still wrestling with that question several days later, when she switched on MTV. The guys were doing a special where viewers could call in with questions and song requests. Carson was hosting this one, and he had made any NSync song fair game. The first request was for "Everything I Own," and the rust on that number was obvious. They fumbled through it, laughing. Even Justin’s gloomy countenance brightened. They answered a bunch of questions and did a song from the new album. The next request to come in was for "God Must Have Spent (A Little More Time On You)", and Tina in Akron, Ohio, couldn’t possibly have known the havoc she would wreak when she asked for that song.

The five men lined up at their microphones, and Kevin cued the band. Justin started off his verse, and the first couplet sounded fine, although his eyes were downcast. But when he sang, "My life was complete; I thought I was whole," his voice wavered audibly. And then the unfathomable happened: he just stopped. He stood perfectly still, with his head bowed so that the camera couldn’t see his face. Chris was the first to react, and he jumped in and finished the verse. Even during the chorus, Justin never lifted his head. When they rearranged themselves to different spots in the line, he simply walked off the stage.

Natalie stared at her television in total disbelief. She was frightened by the eerily calm way Justin left the set. He looked like he was on some kind of autopilot, but she knew the viewers were really witnessing a very public meltdown. The rest of the group struggled to complete the song. She suddenly felt a horrible surge of guilt, and it wasn’t until they ended the song that she noticed the tears running down her cheeks. Carson immediately sent them to a commercial break, and Natalie found herself holding her breath to see what would happen next.

When they returned for more questions, Justin was nowhere to be seen, and JC promptly apologized for him, saying he was sick again. Carson offered sympathy and the other guys commented as well. None of this seemed the least bit convincing to Natalie, and she hoped that was just because she knew the truth. Somehow, that song, with its lyrics about unconditional love, had overwhelmed Justin and finally pushed him over the edge.

She watched the rest of the show, mostly to see if he would return. He didn’t, and she didn’t hear much through her tears. She was worried sick about him. It felt like her heart was being shredded. Pain like this was new to her, this mixture of worry and guilt and… love. Now it was clear to her. She loved him. There was no other explanation for the intensity of these feelings. She loved him, and she was hurting him terribly. And she had to fix it.

Frantically, she dialed his phone, but she wasn’t surprised when she didn’t get an answer. As soon as the show ended, she tried calling Chris but got his voicemail, too. Leaving a message for him, she resumed trying to reach Justin directly. Finally, an hour later, Chris called her back.

"Natalie?"

"Chris! What the hell happened? What’s going on out there?"

"Ummm… he just sort of lost it up there."

"Where is he? Is he OK?"

"He’s back in his hotel room. He won’t let anyone in. He would only talk to me through the door." Chris sighed heavily. "It’s not good around here right now."

Natalie was sobbing now, and she pleaded, "Chris, you’ve got to help me. I have to tell him I was wrong. Please. Can you get him to answer his phone?"

"Well, it’s tough to answer a phone that’s in about ten pieces. It started ringing off the hook the second he walked off the set. It didn’t even make it out of the building intact."

"Oh, man," she moaned, "Chris, what am I going to do?"

"I think you should come out here," he replied quietly, "He needs to hear it from you face-to-face."

"You think that’s the answer? What if he won’t see me?"

"I’ll make sure he does. Just get on the next flight out here. I’ll even pay for it if you want. We’re at our wits’ end with him. You’re the only one who can make a difference now."

Natalie only hesitated for a second before agreeing. "All right. I just need to make sure Kara can stay with Ben. Where are you guys staying?"

"At the Plaza. Call me when you get flight info, and I’ll have someone meet you at the airport."

"OK. Chris, thank you so much."

"You’re welcome. I’ll do anything to see him happy again."

After she hung up with Chris, she called Kara, who said she’d be right over. While she waited for Kara, she raced around the house, throwing things into an overnight bag. Less than two hours later, she was in the air, on a very expensive flight to New York City.

As promised, there was a member of NSync's security team waiting for her at the gate at JFK. He whisked her to a van and took off toward Manhattan. She barely saw the brightly decorated streets or the holiday crowds that filled the sidewalks. Normally, she was in awe of New York, but right now she just wanted the traffic to part and let them through. All her doubts had fallen by the wayside. All she knew now was that she needed to be with him. Finally they reached the hotel, and when the elevator doors opened on the 28th floor, Chris stood there waiting for her. Without thinking, she rushed over to him and threw her arms around him. He hugged her tightly in return.

"Well, did you talk to him? Does he know I’m coming?" she asked, breathlessly.

"I did talk to him. I even convinced him to open his door halfway so I could make sure he was okay. But I didn’t tell him about you. I didn’t want him to leave. And he hasn’t, unless he went through the window."

"Where is he?"

"That way," Chris said, pointing, "2824."

Natalie gave him a peck on the cheek and hurried down the hallway. But when she got to Justin’s door, she stopped short. Suddenly she was terrified of his reaction to her. All she wanted was to hold him in her arms and make sure he was all right. She didn’t think she could take it if he rejected her. And that was more than a remote possibility.

After catching her breath for a moment, she finally raised a hand and knocked timidly on his door. There was no response to her first knock, so she repeated the action. This time it was met with a hearty, "Go away!" But she was not about to give up that easily.

"Justin?" she called through the door, "It’s me, Natalie." When there was no answer, she continued. "Justin, please let me in. I really need to talk to you." Still no reply came. "Justin, please!" She was openly begging now, and her voice broke as the tears threatened once more. "I came all this way. Won’t you just talk to me? Please, Justin!" Almost without realizing it, she had begun pounding her fists against the door. Her eyes were closed as she tried desperately to stave off the flood she knew was imminent. God, she was so sick of crying!

Suddenly her hand connected with something much softer than the door, and her eyes flew open. Justin stood before her, his face a canvas of naked emotions. He was still wearing his television make-up, and the sight of the tear tracks that creased it nearly broke her heart in two. Trembling, she asked, "Are you going to let me in?" Silently, he stepped aside and allowed her into the room, closing and latching the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked almost inaudibly. His voice was raw, as if he’d been crying for hours.

"I… I was watching on TV," Natalie stammered, not knowing what else to say.

"And you thought you’d come and join the pity party, is that it? Well, spare me." He glared at her with his red-rimmed eyes, and she felt her lower lip tremble again.

"Justin, please don’t be mean. I don’t want to do that again. I’m here because I’m worried about you and because I need to talk to you."

"I was under the impression that we were through talking."

"That was your decision. I tried to call you every day for a week."

"I didn’t – and still don’t – think there’s anything left to discuss."

"But you’re wrong," she said, in a low but steady voice. Slowly, she moved to stand directly in front of him. "I need to tell you I’m sorry. I was wrong to tell you that you didn’t love me. It was a defense mechanism, Justin. I was trying to deflect… I just…" She searched for the words as he continued to stare fixedly at her. She dropped her head to avoid his gaze, and continued, "I had convinced myself that what I was doing was best for everyone involved. I wasn’t expecting you to react so strongly. And I wasn’t expecting to miss you so much, or to feel so lost without talking to you every day. I certainly wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you. But that’s what happened."

She ventured a peek at his face out of the corner of her eye. His expression had softened but was unreadable. She took a deep breath and kept going. "There’s something else you need to know. Even though I love you, I’m still terrified of being your girlfriend and all that comes with it. I’m just not scared enough anymore to let it stop me." She finally lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "I love you, Justin. And if you’re still mad at me, I understand. But if you want to give this a shot, I’m ready. And that’s why I came all the way out here."

She looked up at him expectantly, refusing to say anymore until she had a response from him. He took a step closer to her. "If you…" he began haltingly, his voice thick with emotion, "If you don’t ever want to go out in public with me, that’s fine. I don’t care if I never have another date for an awards show ever, so long as you’re waiting for me when I get home." His voice broke on the last word, and he paused for a second, then added, "But if you change your mind, I will be very proud to have you on my arm on any and every red carpet." He put his hands lightly on her elbows and looked deep into her eyes. "We can make this work," he said forcefully.

"Yes, we can," she whispered.

"Yes," he replied, as he pulled her into a bone-crushing embrace. They were both crying now, and it felt as if their two bodies were melting into one. Never in her life had Natalie experienced such a feeling of release, as her anxiety and fear dissolved in the warmth of his arms. This was worth every sacrifice imaginable. Let the paparazzi descend on her at will; this was where she belonged. He pressed his lips to her hair, and they swayed together until they were able to breathe again.

"I’m so glad you came," he murmured in her ear.

"God, so am I," she whispered back.

"And when I’m over being glad, I’m going to kick Chris’s ass for interfering."

Pulling back so she could see his face, she started to ask, "How did you know…"

With a devilish twinkle in his eye, he replied, "Lucky guess."

She shook her head. "You’re impossible. You’re very lucky to have a friend like Chris. He cares so much about you that he’s willing to risk your wrath if it’s for a good cause."

"I know. I’m just kidding. I owe him bigtime for helping us out." As he spoke, he leaned in toward her slowly, propping her chin up with his fingers. "And I hope I never, ever need his help again." 

Tentatively, he brushed his lips against hers, then looked back to her for her consent to continue. Her smile gave him all the reassurance he needed, and he covered her mouth with his own. His lips were parched from all his crying, but all she felt was the heat where they scorched her own. It had been almost a full year since he had kissed her like this, and she felt the loss keenly. A whole year wasted. But there was no sense dwelling on it. Putting those thoughts out of her head, she concentrated on the joy she felt here and now. It was the sweetest kiss of her life.

When they separated, Natalie looked around her for the first time. The hotel room was in a complete shambles. "What the hell happened in here, anyway?"

"Um," he said, looking embarrassed, "After my little nervous breakdown on national television, I came back here and threw an honest-to-God rock star temper tantrum."

"Looks like you did a pretty good job. Come on, I’ll help you clean it up."

He laughed, and his smile was like the emergence of the sun from behind a storm cloud. "You are so anal," he teased.

She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Caressing his cheek, she said, "You have no idea how much I’ve missed that smile. I might even forgive you for calling me anal."

She turned and started picking up clothes. He swatted her lightly on the rear and then pitched in to help. As they straightened up, she saw him sneaking looks at her. "What?" she finally said.

Uncertainly, he said, "So… Does this mean I can tell the truth about Ben?"

Smiling, she said, "Yeah, it does."

"Thank you," he said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"As long as I get to help decide how you’re going to do that."

"That is a deal," he said emphatically. They resumed cleaning, but it wasn’t long before he spoke up again. "What about… Are you going to come on the road with me?"

She could tell he was afraid he was pushing his luck, and she walked over to where he was standing near the window. Slipping her fingers into his, she replied, "Yes, if the offer still stands." His face lit up, but she put a finger to his lips before he could respond. "But I want a job."

"A job?" he asked, looking at her quizzically.

"Yes. Something to do besides follow you around all day and be a hanger-on."

Justin laughed. "I think we can find something for you to do. We always need tons of people."

"OK, then. I’m in." She reached up and encircled his neck with her arms, drawing him into a long, luxurious kiss.

"God, I could get used to that," he breathed.

"Me, too. Now let’s finish cleaning up this mess."

They just about had the room back in order when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Justin called.

"It’s me, J," came Chris’s response.

Justin went over and opened the door, and Chris timidly stepped inside. "How are we doing?" Chris asked, glancing at Natalie. She stepped up and wrapped her arms around Justin’s waist from behind.

"We’re doing great, Chris," she answered with a big grin.

The relief was apparent on Chris’s face. "Thank God," he said.

"No, Chris, thank you," Justin said sincerely, "I really owe you one, man."

"No, you don’t. That’s what big brothers are for." Opening the door, he said, "OK. I just wanted to check and see how things were going. I’ll catch you two later. Dinner, maybe?"

"Yeah, I’ll call you," Justin replied.

"K. Later."

They never did make it to dinner that night, however. Once they had the room tidy again, they settled down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Natalie wanted to call Kara and check in. Kara had been understandably worried when Natalie left. Natalie was happy to be able to report that all was well again. For her part, Kara said Ben was fine, and she told Natalie to stay in New York as long as she needed to. Natalie thanked her profusely; she knew she and Justin needed some time alone.

They rested comfortably on the bed, Natalie enveloped in Justin’s arms. They talked about how they were going to finally tell the world about Ben. There was also a concern now about damage control. Justin knew questions would be asked about his disappearance today. He came up with the idea to share all the news on an appearance with Rosie O’Donnell. Rosie had been a good friend to them over the years, and although she no longer did her talk show, she was hosting a Christmas special. Natalie agreed that was probably the best place. They decided to run it by the rest of the guys in the morning.

The conversation moved on to talk of tour plans. They were starting on New Year’s Eve in Orlando, which would give Natalie just two weeks to get ready. But she found herself getting excited at the prospect of going out on the road with them. Even though it would be tricky bringing Ben along, it was sure to be an adventure. And more importantly, they would all be together, as a family.

She snuggled up closer into his arms and savored the feel of his solid body pressed against hers. It was warm in the room, and she could feel her eyelids growing heavy. She realized Justin’s breathing had slowed. Glancing up at him, she saw that he was fast asleep. It had been an emotionally and physically exhausting day for both of them. But he looked so peaceful now, and she thought her heart would burst with contentment. She gave him a gentle kiss on the neck and woke him up just long enough for them to lie down. Curling up next to him, she fell into a deep and undisturbed sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day flew by in a whirl, as she followed the guys around. They had several promotional appearances, including a visit with Regis and Kelly. Everyone was in agreement that Rosie would be a better choice for the big announcement, so they kept mum all day. But the change in Justin was obvious to anyone who saw him. The sparkle was back in his eye, and he smiled readily and often. The rest of the NSync camp just seemed relieved, and she suddenly had four new best friends. She smiled as she watched him perform. She really was crazy about him. The only mystery was why it had taken her so long to figure it out.

That night, they went to dinner at Justin’s favorite Italian restaurant. Natalie had some trouble adjusting to being out in public with him. Between the security detail and the sideways looks, it felt odd. He didn’t stint on the affection, however, constantly touching her and making it quite apparent that they were a couple. By the time they were done with their meals, she had relaxed and was enjoying her time with him.

After dinner, Justin declared that he felt like taking a walk. "It’s not very cold out. Whaddaya say?"

She hesitated for a split second, then said, "OK. But remember, I’ve lived in Las Vegas for five years. It won’t take long for me to get cold."

She was surprised when he leaned over and said, low in her ear, "I’ll keep you warm," then planted a big smooch on her. She felt the heat rise in her cheeks, and she giggled. "Ah, I made you blush," he crowed.

"Did not," she retorted. "Come on, let’s get out of here."

It was a beautiful night, crisp but not really cold for December. They strolled down the Manhattan streets hand in hand, laughing and talking like schoolchildren. Colorful lights were strung from pole to pole, taking the place of the stars that weren’t visible inside this vast metropolis. Natalie took full notice of the decorations this time, as she tried to imprint this night on her memory. The overall mood was so amazing that she almost forgot that they weren’t an average couple.

That illusion was shattered when they made their way into a busier section of town. As they stood under a streetlight, waiting for a chance to cross the street, Natalie saw, out of the corner of her eye, a flashbulb go off. Reflexively, she turned her head toward the light, just in time to see it go off again. Without meaning to, she tightened her grip on Justin’s hand as Lonnie and Mike moved between them and the photographer.

After they had crossed the street and were back in the shadows, Justin stopped and pulled her closer to the wall. "Are you OK? You looked a little rattled back there."

"Yeah, I’m fine. I know it’s going to happen, but… I guess it’s good for me to get used to it by degrees."

"Good. Because by tomorrow night, there could be a lot more cameras. This is your last chance to change your mind."

"I know. It’s OK. I’ll deal with it."

Justin’s grin split his face from ear to ear, and he leaned in close so that he essentially had her pinned against the wall. "No more hiding," he breathed.

"No more hiding," she concurred, her heart pounding because of his nearness. He waited just a second longer, and then he pounced, kissing her with such passion that it made her toes curl. "Jesus, Justin," she said, breathlessly, when he finally released her. "I think somebody had too much wine with dinner."

"I don’t need wine to fuel this fire," he rumbled low in her ear. She swallowed hard, and her breathing grew shallow. Somehow, she managed to hide her arousal and give him a stern look. "What?" he asked with a mock pout, "You don’t like public displays of affection?"

"As a matter of fact, I don’t," she said, "Even when my boyfriend’s not a teen idol." That earned her a roll of his eyes, and she laughed. "Of course, that doesn’t mean I want you to stop kissing me like that." The impish look returned to his face, and he moved in for another kiss. It was even steamier than the first one, but Natalie cut it short. She was suddenly very conscious of Mike and Lonnie and who knew how many more sets of eyes. Boxing his ears lightly, she pushed him away from her, "OK, OK," she admonished him gently, "Not here. I think maybe we should go back."

Justin raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" he asked, obviously not missing her meaning.

"Yeah," she answered, as she entwined her fingers in his once more.

She had no idea how far they’d walked, and it seemed to take forever to get back. By the time they made it to Room 2824, she ached to feel his lips on hers again. Once they were alone, he wasted no time fulfilling that wish, along with many others. Gone was the tentative boy who had shared her bed a year ago. In his place was a confident man who appreciated how far they’d come to get here and was determined to make the most of it. He moved without hesitation, and it occurred to her that she might no longer be the only woman he’d been with. She chose to ignore that possibility and just lose herself in him.

They turned out the lights and threw open the drapes, allowing the city lights to illuminate their nude bodies. Slowly, languorously, they made love, taking the time to rediscover each other. Nothing in the world had ever felt so real and so right, and Natalie understood for the first time that she was ready to give her heart and soul to this man. Together they explored what she felt certain were the outer limits of the universe. When it was all over, they crashed back to Earth and fell sound asleep in each other’s arms.

Sunshine poured into the room through the opening in the curtains and roused Natalie from her sleep. She was somewhat surprised to find no sign of Justin, since mornings weren’t exactly his thing. She got up and closed the drapes halfway. Clicking on the television, she started warming the coffeepot in the corner of the room. After a few minutes of channel-surfing, the coffee was ready. She poured herself a cup, savoring the aroma. Leave it to The Plaza to have incredible coffee in the room, she thought.

Just then, the door burst open, and Justin bounded in, dressed in workout clothes and carrying his headphones. He was glistening with sweat, and she could feel his energy from all the way across the room. Goddamn, he looked sexy. She wanted to throw him down, but she restrained the impulse, only allowing herself a simple, "Hey. There you are."

"Mornin’, he answered with a big smile. "I just went downstairs to work out."

"So I gathered," she said, as he walked toward her.

"Smart ass," he mumbled as he bent and found her lips with his own.

"Want some coffee?" she asked once they came up for air.

"Sweet Jesus, no. That’s all I need," he responded, and she realized then that he was nervous about today’s plans.

Standing up and wrapping her arms around his waist, she looked him dead in the eye. "How ya doing? You sure you’re ready for this?"

"Yes," he answered, nodding solemnly, "I have no hesitation about doing this. I just can’t believe today’s the day. It could change everything. Or it could change absolutely nothing. I don’t know. I feel like I’m jumping out of a plane without a parachute."

"Just remember I love you, no matter what happens. And so does Ben."

"Thanks," he whispered, kissing her again.

"Welcome," she replied, "Now get in the shower. You stink."

"Thanks a lot," he said, sarcastically.

"Anytime, Wonder Boy."

"Who told you to call me that? Did Lance tell you that? He knows I hate it."

"OK, OK, don’t start whining. Lance had nothing to do with it. Will you go take a shower? We’ll be late if you don’t get moving."

"Fine," he sighed, "But don’t call me that." Natalie just laughed. He quickly stripped off his wet clothes and dropped them in a corner. She couldn’t help admiring his lean, muscular form. He caught her, though, and wiggled his bare ass at her to let her know it.

"Justin…" she warned.

"All right, I’m going," he said, as he vanished into the bathroom.

After they were both dressed, they joined the others, who had gathered in the mini-lobby near the elevators. While they waited for JC, there was a brief discussion about how they were going to give Justin the floor once they were on television. Once everyone was present, however, there was no more talking, as it became all about motion. They all had to keep moving continuously as they exited the hotel. Natalie had already decided she didn’t like this part, with all the yelling and flashbulbs going off. She just put her head down and followed Lonnie.

They made it to the studio in time, but it would be a while before it was their turn on the air. After everyone’s hair and make-up was done, there was nothing to do but wait. Justin had corralled Rosie when they first arrived and given her a heads-up on his plans. She agreed to give him an opening and told him she thought he was doing the right thing by being honest. Now he was more keyed up than ever, and he was pacing the green room relentlessly. She could tell he was annoying the other guys, and she was about to try to get him to sit down when JC spoke up.

"Hey, J," he said, "Have you warned everyone about this? You’re not going to blindside anybody, are you?"

"Nah," Justin replied, "Everybody important knows."

"Everybody?" JC hesitated, looking at the others, "Even Britney?"

That stopped Justin in his tracks, finally. He closed his eyes and said, "No. I didn’t tell her."

"Don’t you think you’d better call her? She’s going to flip if she gets this news on TV. And you know they’re going to ask her stupid questions."

"He’s right, Justin," Natalie said quietly.

"Fine," Justin sighed, "I’ll call her." Grabbing his phone, he went out into the hallway.

"Wow," Natalie said, looking around, "Is she that bad?"

All four of them chuckled. "Nah, she’s OK," JC said.

Lance added, "She just never quite got over him, so every time he talks to her, she babbles on and on."

"And she is going to wig out when she hears this one," Chris piped up.

"Great," Natalie said, "That’ll really help him relax."

JC shrugged. "I was just trying to get rid of him. He was driving me nuts."

She couldn’t help but laugh. Just then she realized she hadn’t told Kara, either, and she needed her to tape the show at home. So she picked up her own phone and headed for the hall. She spotted Justin at one end. His free hand was on his hip, his head was bowed, and he was deep in conversation. Walking the other way, she dialed Kara and filled her in. When she finished, she turned around to find Justin leaning against the wall, waiting for her.

"Well, how’d it go?" she asked.

"OK, I guess." Slipping into a perfect imitation of Britney’s high-pitched drawl, he said, "How come you didn’t tell me? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!"

Natalie laughed. "I think we’re going to be hearing that a lot in the next few weeks."

"No doubt," he agreed. She saw a glimmer of the little boy still struggling with his newfound manhood, then, as an expression of insecurity played across his features for just a second. She opened her arms wide, and he stepped into her embrace.

"It’s going to be fine. This is the way to go," she said, trying to shore up his confidence.

"I know," he replied. Then, after a second, he shook his head. "Wait a second… When did these tables get turned? I used to be the one trying to convince you."

Natalie’s laugh rang out in the narrow hallway. "Yeah, but once I was convinced, that was it for me. I’m not the one who has to go on TV and say the words."

"Yeah, you got off easy," he teased.

"I hardly think being pregnant for nine months plus eight hours of labor – " she began.

"Whoa, whoa, don’t go there," he said, laughing and holding up his hands, "I take it back, I take it back."

"You better," she pouted. But he quickly erased the pout with a soft kiss, and she smiled radiantly up at him. "I love you, Justin Timberlake."

"And I love you, Natalie Moss."

Their reverie was interrupted by a production assistant who had come to fetch the guys. It was time. She walked with them to the wings, holding Justin’s hand tightly. As they reached the spot where she had to stop, she pulled him close. "You’ll be right over here?" he asked.

"Count on it," she replied. Kissing her forehead and letting his gaze linger, he walked out onto the stage behind the rest of his friends as the audience cheered wildly.

First, they sang, doing a revised arrangement of "The Christmas Song" that Natalie thought was a vast improvement over the old way they had done it. Then they moved to the interview chairs, making sure Justin ended up next to Rosie. Initially, she asked all the usual questions about the album, the tour, and how they would spend Christmas. After about five minutes of typically humorous chitchat, she glanced at Justin, who nodded almost imperceptibly.

Rosie took a deep breath and began, casually, "So, Justin, I heard you were sick the other day. Are you feeling better?" Natalie felt her breath catch in her throat, but Justin called on all his years in the public eye and just jumped right in.

"Well, actually, I wasn’t really physically sick."

"You weren’t? What happened?" Rosie encouraged him. Justin’s four best friends were watching him closely, and Natalie swore not one of them was breathing. They all wore supportive looks on their faces, though, and their body language urged him on. She doubted Justin was aware of any of this, however, because he was a man on a mission.

He continued, "Well, I was very upset about something. You see, there’s been all these rumors floating around about me having a child, and I haven’t addressed them because it just isn’t anyone’s business. But I got upset because I got tired of… not lying, exactly, but not telling the whole truth, either. So I wanted to set the record straight. The truth is that I am the very proud father of a seven-week-old son named Ben, and he and his mother are the best things that have ever happened to me."

There was a split second where Natalie could hear several gasps from the audience. But then they broke into a boisterous round of applause, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she saw a grin slide across Justin’s face.

Rosie was beaming at him. "Well, good for you, Justin. Congratulations."

"Thank you," he said, still smiling broadly. But Natalie saw him swallow, and she could tell he was holding back tears of joy. JC saw it, too, and put his hands on Justin’s shoulders from behind for support.

Rosie took care of the sappiness quotient in a hurry. Looking at the other four guys, she challenged, "Anybody else got any earth-shattering news for me?" The guys made a big show of looking behind themselves and checking their pockets and generally hamming it up. When they came up empty, Rosie said, "Well, that’s probably good, ‘cause I think Justin’s news is going to fill up the front pages tomorrow," and everyone cracked up as Justin lowered his head and blushed. Smiling, Rosie sent the show to commercial, then immediately stood up and hugged Justin, saying something in his ear. The guys performed again, and afterwards, Justin ran directly over to Natalie.

Sweeping her literally off her feet with an enthusiastic hug, he cried, "We did it!"

"Well, you did, anyway," she answered, laughing. "What did Rosie say to you?"

"She said she thought I was very brave."

"She’s right, you were."

He took her face in his hands and stared at her with intensely blue eyes. "No, you’re the brave one. You’re giving up so much for this."

Natalie shook her head. "I may be giving up a few things, but I’m being repaid in triplicate. Being with you is worth all the challenges."

"I’m glad you feel that way, ‘cause you’re stuck with me now."

She sighed melodramatically, "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"You know…" Justin said, rolling his eyes and grinning. She laughed out loud and pressed her body to his, kissing him as if her life depended on it. Finally, they turned and left the wings, heading up the hallway with their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. They wore matching expressions of pure delight, letting their love light up the room at last.

******************************************

_Now the Mississippi’s mighty,  
But it starts in Minnesota  
At a place that you can walk across  
With five steps down.  
And I guess that’s how you started,  
Like a pinprick to my heart,  
But at this point you rush right through me  
And I start to drown._

*****************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the end is "Ghost" by Indigo Girls.


End file.
